Ask the mentor

Q. I am a housewife, with two grown up children. From my teens I was eager to stand on my foot unfortunately it did not happen. Then after my marriage, I started  looking  to do something of my own, and those days the communication was not this easier and I failed miserably . But now I feel lethargic , less motivated and pessimistic and begot a fatalistic attitude, so much so that I don’t even compel or motivate my children. Health wise I am perfect but there is little energy in me. I want to come out of this and find my passion at least.

Ans .Dearest ‘Housewife’ I empathize with your lack of motivation and overwhelming sense of helplessness caused by this static state of ‘being’ that you find yourself in. However, take it from the horse’s mouth; it is never too late to stop ‘being’and start ‘living’. In weaving together the threads of your life, I see a selfless mother who has devoted herself to the nurturing of her family and household. It is important not to forget, nor discount these efforts and the fruits they have borne. The spark inside you to “stand on your own feet” already exists; it simply needs to be redirected and channelized towards finding your passion.If it feels daunting at this stage, I urge you to start small by incorporating these simple lifestyle changes in to your daily routine-

1. Wake up a little earlier than the rest of the household.  Spend that time to do pranayam and have a short walk. Get out in the sun and fresh air every day. Just start a fitness routine even if in the beginning it is just 15 mins a day and then gradually build up from that.

2. You need to join a hobby class. Something you enjoys doing – cooking painting yoga – anything that gets you out of the house and meeting other people.  You can’t start a business first. You need to first reconnect with life, enjoy yourself and regain your self confidence.

3. You should reach out to friends and reconnect with them. Ask your good friends what they think you would be good at, what you could do.  If you don’t have a circle of good friends you could pick one person you like and make the effort to reach out to that person. 

4. You definitely need to connect with a life coach who will help you understand what your underlying fears are, what your talents are, what is holding you back.

And if you find yourself feeling disheartened or overwhelmed, the most important thing to keep reminding yourself is that only adversity provides opportunity for growth. When you are in your comfort zone and everything seems to be going well, the motivation to change will not drive you. It is in the shadow of perilous times that you will be able to appreciate the person you once were, accept who you are today and evolve in to the person you desire to be.Fear is a moral compass. It’s ok to be afraid. But don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Allow your apprehensions to be the motivating factor that drives you. Don’t be afraid to fail because if you haven’t failed, you haven’t tried hard enough. So be afraid.  But also, be focused.  Be determined.  Be empowered. Be passionate. Good luck!!


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