Hi everyone! The conversations here about the distress and trauma some women battle in their marriage inspired me write this poem. It’s especially baffling that for the rest of the world, the tormentor is often seen as “such a gentleman”. Thank you for taking the time to read through my poem, I hope some it resonates with some of you.

Gentleman

Soft-spoken and polite
Never been known to raise his voice
How lucky she was to have snagged
Such a gentleman

Stable job stable income
Secure future
Who would want to throw away a life with
Such a gentleman

Yes, he drank and enjoyed alcohol
A few vices, but no one could fault
He knew his limits after all
Such a gentleman

He loved her, couldn’t she see?
That’s why he exerted control
He just wants her to be safe
Such a gentleman

Don’t wear that
Don’t drink this
Don’t talk like that, said he
Such a gentleman

He raised his voice but it was warranted
Never wanted to but was forced
She pushed him to it, said he
Such a gentleman

He raised his hand only once so far
But it’s justified, you see
She was acting mad
Such a gentleman

She can’t control her liquor said he
Doesn’t look good when she wears red
On her lips or nails, much too gaudy
No glitter, or color for her eyelids- too showy
Does she want to attract the wrong crowd?
Don’t post pictures up out there
They could be morphed
Don’t let them see you, not like that
Don’t speak to those women, what silly opinions they have
Nor those men, they can’t be trusted
Not everyone is like him
Such a gentleman

Misogynistic, Sexist
Chauvinistic perhaps?
So what if he is a bit, he’s still
Such a gentleman

Abusive? No way
She doesn’t have bruises that show
He isn’t like that after all
Such a gentleman

She lives her life by his rules
But he’s so kind, not rude
He only wants her to be safe, that’s best
Such a gentleman

Gaslit everyday she lives
She doesn’t question a single rule
Nor the list
She knows what they will say
She has it so much better than most
So she bears it
It’s second nature to her
Who she is, what is her worth
She no longer knows
Gaslit gaslit everyday
She’s married to a man who is known as
Such a gentleman

Dear girl, please know
The day you awaken
Is the day he dreads
He tries everyday to hold you back
He will rot away when you move past
It is not easy but you will find
That you never regret leaving
Such a gentleman

BY

MIRIAM TK

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