Who Is Right? My Friends Or My Parents!!

Q: Need a little help here. Though I am studious and do well in my academics, I am not popular in my school. No boys or girls adore me as they do with some other students. My friends and classmates are dating and some of them are already in relationships. But these girls and boys are popular and are teachers’ pets as well. I am not fashion conscious or up to date with my hairstyles nor my body look sculpted as I am not in to health and fitness. My parents advise me that I can do all that once I am out of my teens. They want me to be as natural as possible. Even for my teachers I am nothing, as I am not up date with the latest trends in fashion. Though I am obedient and show respect to teachers, why do the teachers are very easy with those girls? My parents give me enough freedom but they don’t want me and my sister to be that fashion conscious at this younger age. There is a lot of conflict in me as to what is right and wrong?

A: Transition from a teenage to an adult is always challenging and jeopardizing. One has to face certain issues during these transforming growth stages of one’s life. During this adolescent phase one is often exposed to some overwhelming external and internal struggles owing to puberty, peer pressure, social influences, parental forces, work and school pressures.

It is usually in adolescence that hormones hijack your contemplation of judgement. Most common negative effect from the external influence is the inferiority complex generated owing to the fellow students’ influence. I would suggest you, not to be bothered about all these materialistic or cosmetic decorations because they will eventually develop as you grow older. Most important is the skill acquired by you during this phase. A beautiful saying that “Youth is wasted on the young”. So rather than wasting your youth as well as time on those silly things you should be more concerned about developing skills and acquiring fundamental education.

A sound mind in a healthy body goes a long way. Body confidence and self-acceptance comes with time. You can start daily yoga, pushups and Surya Namaskar, walking, running or anything you like other than these activities. This would help you in getting into shape and build confidence. There must be a physical activity daily; to keep yourself fit and lift your mood. You must start believing in yourself and tell yourself that you are beautiful the way you are. Everyone is unique; beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, know and accept yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others, you might not know their situation; understand the proverb ‘All that glitters is not gold’. 

Your parents are advising you to stay away from fashion and other distractions as they want you to focus on your academics. Remember they have given you enough freedom and they know what is right for you at this age. This is the time that you are getting rooted and they want that to happen instead of swaying with the ephemeral glitz and glamour. But once you are strong enough and rooted well your faculties of judgement will be more clear-cut and based on untainted perception.

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