From Chaos to Companionship: The Magic of Motherhood

Mother’s Day is round the corner and I can see a lot of hush-hush activities going around in the house. I can sense that my children are up to something like every year around this time. Some covert mission is underway in collaboration with their father for which they have barred me from entering their room. From their muffled tones and secretive behaviour without me being party to their plans, I can clearly understand that they are working towards Mother’s Day celebrations. For at least a few days, it will be a big respite for me to not sort out their usual banter or scuffle till they bond over their secret mission. Though I may be pretending to not have any inkling of what is happening in the house but honestly, I am jumping with excitement and looking forward to Mother’s Day celebrations by my children. My heart swells with joy and pride to see them getting more creative, artistic and expressive year-on-year. It is always magical to be loved and pampered by them. In fact, motherhood itself is magical.

I call it magical because motherhood is one of the most blissful and rewarding experiences of life, despite being tiresome and challenging at times. As a mother of two beautiful children, I cannot thank God enough for these lovely gifts and of course my husband too. Motherhood changed me in the best possible way. The moment I held my new-borns in my arms, I acquired superhuman strength and all my pains and discomforts of pregnancy and delivery had vanished. I instantly felt responsible for shaping a human life through my nurture and care. Overnight I had adapted to the new role with a change in priorities of life and perception about so many things. Moreover, I was pleasantly surprised by my enhanced levels of patience and resilience.

Over the years, the children and I have developed a unique deep bond and we understand each other just by non-verbal cues. We have created good memories to cherish through our everyday life and special occasions. Watching them grow and witnessing their achievements – however small they may be, is very rewarding and satisfying for me.

Now my children are young teenagers and they are more like my companions. Nowadays they keep updating me on the latest music, new crazy viral dance moves, and the new mobile apps. Our house is always buzzing with activities. They have actually become my powerful pillars of strength. To reach this level where I could treat them as my companions, we had to traverse through a long winding road. In this journey, they mostly made me smile and laugh but there were times when they created chaos and it was difficult handling them at different stages of their childhood. They kept my hands full and surprised me with their wit, creativity, and humour. I also learnt not to always fall for their innocent and cherubic face. It is well said that what goes around comes back around and I have started respecting my parents more after becoming a parent. The other day while flipping through a photo album of my children, I was reminded of some funny as well as exasperating moments as a mother.

Here are some of the funny and annoying things that my children have done at different stages of their childhood:

• Sleep deprivation: Like any other mother, sleepless nights were the most annoying things of motherhood. When my children were born, I was perennially exhausted because of lack of sleep for at least a few months after their birth. I used to catch a few winks as per their sleeping schedule and not when I wanted to. As they started going to school, their early morning school timings have made me an early riser which was again not out of choice.
• Test of gravity: When they were around one year old, they loved throwing down whatever came in their hands and then checking our reactions. As a routine, this process continued the whole day rendering me exhausted by the end of the day. I wonder why Newton had to wait for an apple to fall from the tree to formulate the law of gravity. Here my children were testing the law daily.
• Endless “Why?” Questions: Young children are very curious and they want to know about everything which is a good thing. But when my children started speaking, they instantly went into that stage of asking “why?” for any statement we made – it was interesting initially but exhausting after a while. It was like an infinite loop with no end in sight. And most of these questions popped up at chaotic times or during important conversations.
• Unpredictability: I know the location of most of the loos in the city by now and have been thinking of documenting it for the benefit of new moms. When they were toddlers, most of the time our pleasant outings used to suddenly turn into panic attacks of finding loos at very odd places.
• The “Look What I Did!” Moments: Kids love to show off their creativity but their creations are not always what I look forward to. When they were toddlers, our drawing room aptly had wall murals with all sorts of coloured crayons. When my son was 5 years old, one afternoon he found the hair trimmer from one of the drawers which we thought was out of his reach. He experimented with the gadget on his head. The result was that he had a patchy head within no time and hair was floating all over the house. He came to me to show off his creativity and must have expected approval for his act or art. It is needless to mention a mom’s reaction.
• Selective Hearing: I always find it amazing how they can tune out when I ask them to clean their room or do any other household chore but strangely appear out of nowhere if I open a packet of chips or speak of things that interest them. I am convinced that they have superhuman hearing power only when they want to.
• The Detective Game: Children love to misplace their things, especially books or school uniforms within the house and are never able to find them. Then after a lot of fretting over it, I offer to look for it and find it within no time. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a procrastination tactic to reduce the study time or if they actually need to visit an ophthalmologist.
• Awkward situations: There have been times when I had guests at home and I opened the refrigerator to offer them fruit juices, only to find empty cartons neatly perched on the shelf. You can imagine my indignation!
• Negotiators: Children have mastered the art of negotiations. This developed mainly during the Covid lockdown period when they were suddenly relegated to home. It was for the first time that they were exposed to technology and electronic gadgets were the only means to connect them to the outside world. Now COVID has taken a backseat but has left its side effect – hooking children around the world to the screens. The neighbourhood playgrounds which had groups of children playing before Covid times look more or less deserted as children are glued to the screens. The outdoor playing has been replaced by online games and our son is no exception to it, much to our annoyance. In the process, he has learnt the art of bargaining for more screen time.
• Sibling connection: As a mom, life with siblings is like running a 24-hour circus but sometimes it is more entertaining than any TV show. The slightest trigger can cause a banter or squabble which makes me want to pull my hair. So, most of the time, I pretend not to see or hear anything because I know if I intervene, then it turns into a full-blown court case. Also, there are times when I see them huddled together, whispering and giggling. It is fun to see them bond over their mischief or ganging against me. It is all part of the grand adventure of raising siblings. Who needs reality TV when you have kids?

This list is endless and I can go on and on like any other doting mom. But one thing I am convinced about is that despite all the exasperating and overwhelming moments, these anecdotes continue to make our lives entertaining and memorable for years to come. One day we will miss the never-ending cacophony and disorder of today. I dread to think about the empty nest in the near future and moreover the suspenseful Mother’s Day preparation at home.

-Nivedita Chitnis is an Indian writer, co-author, and HR professional. Her writings focus on social issues. She enjoys reading, cycling, and dabbling in culinary experiments.