Traveling: As a Wife or As a Mother?

They say that there is no love greater than a mother’s love for her children, and I completely agreed with this the day my son was born. My world revolved around him, and honestly, it was fun to be with him, especially when he started talking. He had an opinion about everything and always had something to say. My husband was out of the picture most of the time, as he was working in another city, which gave my son and me plenty of time to bond and enjoy each other’s company.

I recently read an article about leaving our kids behind when we travel and not feeling guilty about it. To each their own, but when I read it, I felt that, while I could travel without my son and not feel guilty, I would rather travel with him because it’s more fun. I enjoy my time with my son more than with my husband. Oops, did I say too much? I hope my husband doesn’t read this. But truly, I have more fun with my son than with my husband, and I even have a reason for this statement.

A few years ago, when my son was just 2 years old, my husband and I went on a week-long trip, leaving him with my in-laws because he was prone to colds, and we were traveling to a cold place. The separation anxiety was real, but I tried to focus on my time with my husband. We landed in Delhi, the capital of India, collected our luggage, and waited silently outside the airport for our cab. While my husband communicated with his friends, as we were all planning to meet and travel together, I observed the airport and the people around us. We got into the cab and headed to the railway station for our journey to Churu, a city in the state of Rajasthan, located in the northwestern region of India, known for its deserts and historic architecture. Although we had company, something felt missing.

I stared out of the train window while my husband snored away. Sounds boring, right? Yeah, I felt the same way. With every glance outside, I thought about how my son would react to the sand, the different types of trees, the sounds of the train, or the different dialects of the people around us. Sigh! It was a long journey, and we finally reached Churu. Despite all this, my husband was still asleep, and I spent time chatting with the other passengers. We then took a cab to Sardarshahar, a smaller and colder town in Rajasthan. My husband, who had lived in Rajasthan for many years as a teenager, wasn’t excited by anything, so he wasn’t talking to me about it. Meanwhile, I was jumping with excitement, fascinated by the different culture. Oh, how I missed my son—we would have had a non-stop conversation about everything.

We finally arrived at the wedding, and since I love Rajasthani food, I was thrilled to see the huge spread of vegetarian dishes. My husband, on the other hand, said, “Oh yeah, I’ve already had all of this when I lived here.” Show off, I thought. We were very close to the groom’s family, so they kept urging us to eat, and trust me, the food was simply incredible.

Every morning, I would go down to eat all the dishes while my friends and my husband lazed around in their rooms. By this point, I missed my son so much that I would cry when I spoke to him. He would have had a different reaction to everything, and he would have given me company whenever I wanted to explore the place and, of course, the food. There were four more days to go, and I was getting impatient with my husband’s laziness, eagerly waiting to go home and hug my son and tell him so many things. I kept cursing myself for leaving him at home. I know this sounds clingy, but having someone around who shares your interests and shows interest in you is worth it.

When we were flying back home, I was the most excited person because I was tired of roaming around alone and talking to myself about the place, food, and people. This may have been an isolated incident, but after that trip, I promised myself that I would never go on another trip without my son. And I haven’t. Whenever my son, who is now 8 years old, is around, I feel stress-free, happy for no reason, and heard. We take our time getting ready, marvel at fancy bathrooms, or simply go out for a walk, talking about the stars.

Maybe one day, a romantic trip with my husband will be on the cards when my son no longer wants to travel with us. But for now, I am more than happy traveling with him, experiencing new places as a child would, and not as an adult. My son is reading my article while I write, feeling slightly proud and smiling.

-Monika Lokhanday is an avid reader, a sports enthusiast, and a doting mother.