The Weight We Don’t Talk About

CeeVee’s Corner | Editorial | Aug 2026

If you asked me what has changed in me over the past few years of living in the western world, I would say this: I got rid of a heavy weight on my body and mind, one that had been there since I was a girl, taught to be nice, to be polite, to think about how others saw me more than what I thought of myself.

I do not think this weight is unique to me. I think most women carry a version of it, and most never quite name it.

Growing up in a very culturally conscious Indian society, I understood early that in order to be a nice woman, a nice girl, a good girl, you needed certain qualities. And I do not think this is only for girls. Culturally, we are expected to take care of others’ emotions and feelings, to think about how they see us, more than what we think about ourselves. Whenever I laughed too loud, whenever I said something not polite enough, not indirect enough, I was reprimanded by the elders and the people responsible for me. You are reactive. You do not know how to respect others. You have to be polite. You have to stand up when a man comes in. Small corrections, repeated for years, until they quietly eroded my own confidence.

That weight was never really about the sari or the sentence or the laugh. It was the smallest thought that came to mind just before I did something, a thought that stopped me before I even began. Should I say this out loud, or will I be called too reactive. Should I laugh this loud, or will I be seen as improper. Should I wear this, or will I be stared at, judged, talked about. It was a constant, quiet calculation running underneath every choice, and it became an invisible weight on the shoulders. Every time I stepped out, I had to behave nice, or risk not being liked.

We all have our own wings. But place enough expectations on them, layer after layer, and no one can fly.

In the past four years, first in the US, now in Australia, I have not agreed with every cultural aspect of the western world, but the freedom of thought, the freedom of walking equal to someone instead of stooping down for them, has been the biggest change in me. I always walked straight, even back in India. But now I walk without that heavy weight on my shoulders, and it gives so much more momentum to move forward. I dream bigger. I conceptualise bigger things, in life and in business, and execute them without the old hurdles.

I share this not to dwell on what was taken, but because I believe this weight can be identified and set down, wherever you live, whatever your age. A few things that helped me shed mine.

Name it. For years I thought what I felt was just personality, that I was simply too sensitive or too reactive, as I was so often told. It was only when I could name it as an external weight, not a personal flaw, that I could start to put it down.

Notice the calculation. The next time you hesitate before speaking, wearing, or doing something, pause and ask whose voice is running that calculation. Often it is not even a real person anymore. It is an old instruction, still playing on a loop.

Choose your discomfort. Shedding this weight does not mean the disapproval disappears. It means you get to choose which discomfort you carry, the discomfort of being disliked by some for being yourself, or the discomfort of shrinking for a lifetime.

Build your own room. Find or build a space, a community, a circle of women, where being fully yourself is not just tolerated but genuinely welcomed. That is a large part of why SheSight exists.

There is only one life, and it is made entirely of the choices we make. Setting this weight down, even in midlife, even later than we would have liked, is still a choice worth making. My hope for every woman reading this is simple: that she stops calculating how she will be seen, and starts choosing who she wants to be.

That is the whole point of lightness. Fly.

And speaking of flying, our FlyHigh Women Awards season is in full throttle. The Mumbai regional awards and community impact events just concluded, with incredible on ground energy, hundreds of women and students coming together, inspired to make the world a better place. Check out the photos and event updates on SheSight Magazine and on flyhighwomen.com.

If you would like to organise a community impact event in your city, get in touch with us.

I believe anything is possible when we imagine great things with good intentions.

Universal Love & Abundance,

Dr. CeeVee

EDITORIAL BY

Dr. Chandra Vadhana R. (Dr. CeeVee) is an academic, author, entrepreneur, and impact strategist with a passion for empowering women, scaling social innovation, and embedding sustainability in business. With a PhD in management and over two decades of experience across academia and industry, she bridges education, entrepreneurship, and sustainability to create meaningful change. Dr. CeeVee is the founder of multiple purpose-driven ventures, including SheSight, ShePower Club, Prayaana Labs, and serves as a Senior Lecturer in Business at Monash University, Australia. Her work blends research, tech-enabled impact, and community building to shape a more equitable and regenerative future.

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