Avoid These 6 Phrases With Grandkids

Mindful Communication: What Not to Say to Grandkids

During the holiday season, as families come together to celebrate, grandparents play a crucial role in creating a positive and nurturing environment for their grandkids. However, certain phrases, even if unintentional or well-meaning, can impact the grandchildren negatively. It’s essential for grandparents to be mindful of their communication, fostering a healthy relationship. Pediatric psychologist Ann-Louise Lockhart emphasizes the importance of intentional and aware words that shape how grandkids perceive themselves and their connection with grandparents.

1. Avoid Secrets:
   • Unhelpful: “Don’t tell your parents…”
   • Why: Encouraging secrecy can undermine parental authority and lead to harmful consequences, especially if a child is in distress.
2. Body Comments Are Off-Limits:
   • Unhelpful: “You’re getting so big! Have you put on weight?”
   • Why: Remarks about a child’s body contribute to body image and self-esteem issues, emphasizing the importance of internal traits is more constructive.
3. Food Comments Matter:
   • Unhelpful: “Wow, you ate more than I did!”
   • Why: Comments about food intake can impact children’s relationship with food, influencing their eating behavior and potentially triggering feelings of shame.
4. Avoid Labeling:
   • Unhelpful: “You’re so spoiled.”
   • Why: Labeling a child as spoiled without understanding the context may overlook the impact of parenting styles and contribute to misunderstandings.
5. Respect Physical Boundaries:
   • Unhelpful: “You better come over here and give me a hug or a kiss!”
   • Why: Respecting a child’s autonomy and boundaries is crucial. Instead, ask if physical affection is okay and accept their answer.
6. Avoid Parental Criticism:
   • Unhelpful: “Your parents are wrong about…”
   • Why: While differences in parenting styles exist, openly criticizing parents in front of grandkids can be harmful. Address concerns directly with the parents rather than involving the child.

Grandparents have the opportunity to enhance their relationship with grandkids by being mindful of their words, fostering positive communication and understanding. Remembering that it’s never too late to adopt healthier communication practices can contribute to a more supportive and loving family environment.

_{Repurposed article originally published in Huffpost}