Behind Closed Doors: Tragedy of Intimate Partner Homicide
Death is a mystery, and so is life. And when a beautiful journey ends abruptly, it saddens everyone. It is a crime. But when the perpetrator is ‘the better half,’ it intrigues all of us. Questions like, “How could he do it?”, “what must have happened?” “Why did he do it?” comes to our mind. Many psychologists and researchers have put in years of hard work to find out the hows and whys of such horrendous crimes- why men kill their wives or girlfriends.
Recent developments have brought this type of murder again to the news. The murders of two women in Delhi’s Najafgarh and Maharashtra’s Palghar by their live-in partners have brought back some horrific memories.
When men kill their wives or girlfriends, it is called “Intimate Partner Homicide”. According to Professors Rebecca and Russel Dobuh, criminologists at The University of Manchester, many women are murdered by jealous, possessive, and controlling men. Their research laid bare the layers of society and the idea of masculinity. Their need to control. They said that intimate murderers were some of the most intentional killers. Many had problematic childhoods and adulthoods, alcohol problems, and were unemployed. While some had propriety orientation toward their partner, like “You are mine” and “You belong to me.” Remorse was largely absent.
We can draw some frightening parallels from all the shocking murders. They can be clubbed into four common motives. Behind intimate partner killings, the first and foremost cause is rage. These types of men have serious anger issues resulting in violence. According to forensic psychiatrist Dr. Park Dietz, “Some men are full-fledged psychopaths”. He says, “This group has been violent before, and we can see it building up to a tragic ending.”
The second most common motive is fear of abandonment and loss. It is dangerous for women who have controlling and abusive spouses. Dietz says, “This group of men who kill because of fear of being dumped have a volatile and emotional personality.”
Thirdly, there’s the issue of sexual envy or possessiveness. This encompasses a wide range of feelings, from the annoyance that she flirted with a stranger to the knowledge that she actually had affairs.
Being suicidal is the fourth reason a male partner might kill a female partner. The murderer may take his own life. The only thing that makes them concerned is their reputation after they have taken someone’s life.
Insurance, mercy killing, mental illness, and replacing a wife with another partner are among the less common reasons for these murders. These kinds of problems, in conjunction with drug use, make for lethal combinations that cloud the judgment of abusers.
Mostly, the murder happens in the heat of the moment, but other times it is planned. Men are typically found to be competent to face trial. Most of the time, the women killed have reported violence and difficulties to others but never take it seriously. In only rare cases, the women were taken aback when it happened. But most of the time, they were accustomed to the violence -mental and physical, used on them.
Such crimes force us to think about why women choose to stay in such toxic relationships. Well, this is a story for another day. But as a society, we need to teach young people about relationships, breakups, and how to deal with them.
There is a need for surveillance of violent partners and providing them with much-needed help. We must also tone down the idea of masculinity. Police also need to take domestic violence seriously and not dismiss them as internal conflict. Such measures can go a long way in saving precious life.
Five risk factors for intimate partner homicide:
- These are risk factors that killers often have in common
- Has often witnessed violence growing up
- Has previously been convicted
- Has abused alcohol/drugs
- Has a large age difference with the victim- is generally much older.
Source: About Murders book by Pal Grondahl
–Nidhi Raj is an independent writing professional, storyteller, and mother with a keen interest in women’s issues and International Relations
