Chaos Magic

“It’s tempting to believe that a break from life’s routine will only cause chaos. But regimen does not ensure security. The only constant we can count on is change.”- Gina Greenlee

Creating our own realities: What does it mean? Reality is subjective and unique to each of us. I’ve descended into madness more than once, and I must say, it’s addicting. Descending into these temporary states of madness was the only way to see the world anew. I’ve lost my mind multiple times, and upon returning, I realize how we all live in our individual and collective illusions. Once you recognize the illusions, the arduous task begins to differentiate them from objective reality.

Chaos to Healing: A Journey Within

Some days, feeling defeated, you give in to the illusions and play along, participating in this eccentric dance of existing within our created narratives. Your existence, your current relationships, your family, your past – you try to make sense of it, putting all the pieces together, only to realize the pieces will never be perceived the same way again. Meaning, you can’t unsee what you’ve seen, and the only way from there is to move forward. You are different after you lose your mind; the descent into madness will make you feel lonely, as relating to most will start feeling meaningless. And then comes the ultimate craving to reconnect, in all the ways you were disconnected from the world. This is how the healing begins. And then comes the creation, the quantum, the chaos magic. You realize you are a puppet to the urge of the archetypes and the spirit that operates through you, to obey, through this mind and body apparatus.

Change requires a bit of chaos. It’s quantum, an attempt to create reality; it’s artwork, as Terrence McKenna said, “We are stuck in some kind of prison of art.” We are all creating art on the canvas of life, a giant masterpiece if you can learn to see it and be brave enough to connect with your true self. Life is more than just a job and a repeating pattern. That’s why I write, it’s the only form of expression that gives me relief to express and share my worldview, the madness, a way for me to try to share my art. “There is no agony like hearing an untold story inside you.”

-Neelofer Hilal is a passionate freelance writer, avid traveler, podcaster, futurist, dreamer, and social science enthusiast.