Counterintuitive Approach to Parenting for Child’s Success
Jennifer Breheny Wallace, a Harvard graduate, bestselling author, and researcher specializing in toxic parenting, offers a fresh perspective on helping children succeed. In collaboration with the Harvard Graduate School of Education, she surveyed 6,500 parents in the U.S. Her insights reveal the detrimental impact of parental anxiety on a child’s mental health and long-term success.
In today’s uncertain world, parents often fret about their child’s future, particularly regarding college admissions and career prospects. However, when this concern transforms into overwhelming anxiety, it can transmit to children through emotional contagion, leading to mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
Wallace emphasizes the importance of modeling stress coping mechanisms for children. Parents should manage their anxiety levels to prevent undue pressure on their kids. Believing in a child’s resilience and offering unconditional love can be more beneficial than overwhelming them with expectations.
Parental anxiety can act as a biological defense mechanism but sometimes produces false alarms, such as excessive concern about college acceptance. Wallace compares this to an oversensitive smoke detector, signaling danger even when it’s not present.
To alleviate this stress, Wallace suggests reframing the mindset around a child’s future. Success takes various forms, and attending a highly-selective college does not guarantee long-term earnings. Wallace also offers four key questions for self-reflection to ensure parents are not inadvertently contributing to their child’s stress:
- Examine extracurricular activities.
- Consider spending habits.
- Evaluate daily conversations.
- Reflect on common arguments with your child.
Ultimately, Wallace’s message centers on nurturing a child’s self-worth based on love and acceptance, rather than tying it solely to performance.
Re-reported from the article originally published in The cnbc
