Couples’ Playbook: 12 Game-Changing Rules for a Great Marriage
How can two walk together unless they agree? The truth is, many marriages get ruined because of misunderstandings. These misunderstandings often stem from a lack of agreement on how to handle the issues that affect each marriage. Failing to agree will lead to the husband-and-wife interpreting things differently, resulting in feelings of hurt, insensitivity, rejection, intolerance, and indifference.
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To avoid this, establish clear rules with your spouse on the do’s and don’ts. Here are 12 essential areas to cover:
- NO MORE DRAMA: SOCIAL MEDIA RULES
In today’s digital age, social media can be a minefield for relationships. Set clear boundaries to avoid unnecessary conflicts and maintain trust.
- No being Facebook friends with exes
- Avoid suggestive comments on others’ posts
- No airing domestic issues online
- Agree on what personal information to share
- COOL IT DOWN: TEMPER RULES
Every couple argues, but how you handle disagreements can make or break your relationship. Establish a framework for managing conflicts constructively.
- Decide how to handle anger (e.g., take space, address quickly)
- No going to sleep angry at each other
- Establish a process for addressing disagreements
- CASH TALK: MONEY RULES
Financial disagreements are a leading cause of marital stress. Create a clear financial plan that works for both of you.
- Decide on joint bank accounts
- Set spending thresholds without consultation
- Assign bill payment responsibilities
- Plan for saving and investing
- Agree on financial support for in-laws
- ME TIME: INDIVIDUAL SPACE RULES
While togetherness is crucial, maintaining individual identities is equally important. Respect each other’s need for personal space.
- Agree on how to communicate need for alone time
- Support each other’s need for personal space
- Establish boundaries for individual activities
- RING SMART: PHONE RULES
In our always-connected world, phone usage can create tension. Set guidelines to ensure technology enhances rather than hinders your relationship.
- No chatting with others past a certain time (e.g., 11 PM)
- Maintain transparency about calls and messages
- Inform each other about important calls
- SPLIT IT FAIR: CHORE RULES
Uneven division of household tasks can breed resentment. Create a fair system that works for your unique situation.
- Assign specific tasks to each partner
- Ensure fairness to prevent resentment
- Regularly review and adjust as needed
- KID CODE: PARENTHOOD RULES
Parenting disagreements can strain even the strongest relationships. Align your approach to create a united front.
- Agree on disciplinary methods
- Divide parental responsibilities
- Plan attendance at school events
- Make joint decisions on children’s diet and activities
- CLOCK WATCH: COMING HOME RULES
Respecting each other’s time is crucial for maintaining harmony. Establish clear expectations about schedules and communication.
- How to communicate delays
- Define what “too late” means for your relationship
- Remember, marriage is about partnership, not individual convenience
- BEDROOM BASICS: SEX RULES
A healthy sex life is vital for most marriages. Open communication about intimacy can strengthen your bond.
- Discuss acceptable positions and practices
- Define what’s off-limits
- Plan for intimacy during menstruation
- Remember, each couple is unique
- OFFICE HOURS: WORK RULES
Balancing career and marriage can be challenging. Set boundaries to ensure work doesn’t overwhelm your relationship.
- Set limits on bringing work home
- Strategize for handling conflicting career demands
- Plan for leave and off days
- Support each other’s professional growth
- FULL DISCLOSURE: INFORMATION RULES
Transparency builds trust. Keep each other informed about your daily lives to maintain a strong connection.
- Notify each other of your whereabouts
- Share daily schedules
- Keep each other informed of significant events
- FRIEND ZONE: SOCIAL RULES
Maintaining friendships is important, but they shouldn’t come at the cost of your marriage. Set clear boundaries for social interactions.
- Introduce each other to friends
- Set limits on opposite-gender friendships
- Agree on frequency of hosting friends at home
Agreeing on these key issues brings about order, peace, and unity; both of you will know how to navigate and behave. If your marriage is chaotic because of lack of order, it’s not too late to have a conversation leading to an agreement on these issues.
Remember, a great marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. By setting clear expectations and rules, you can simplify your relationship and strengthen your bond. Start the dialogue today and watch your marriage thrive!
Universal love and abundance
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Dr.CeeVee
(Dr. CeeVee is the pen name of Dr. Chandra Vadhana R, Founder of Prayaana Labs and Managing Editor, of SheSight Magazine)