Family and Career: Finding the Perfect Balance

“Motherhood and career are not competing interests; they are two sides of the same coin. Both require dedication, perseverance, and love.”

I have only three employees working for me, and only one of them is female. When she told me about her pregnancy, at first, I was happy and congratulated her. Later, the complications and hardships that come with new motherhood struck me, and I found myself in a doldrum about her capabilities. Am I ashamed? Yes, I am. All my education, liberal upbringing, and feminism just went down the drain. And all this happened in the comfort and confines of my small house. Even if it was for a moment, it did happen.

This led me to wonder how countless working mothers go through this judgmental attitude every day. As it is, their life changes and their bodies change. Suddenly everyone expects her to be perfect. This whole situation is so daunting, and then society makes it all worse. From body shaming to judging her parenting skills, some people just make her life so difficult, expecting her to be a super mom. They forget that even moms are human. The demands of work add more pressure. Some companies want moms to work as if they have no children, and some families want mothers to raise kids as if they have no work. There needs to be a balance between these extremes. Then some working moms make it look easy.

Well, I tracked some cool working moms and asked them their secret recipe for a fulfilling life both personally and professionally.

Here are some takeaways: Work-life balance is a myth if you consider them to be opposites. Work is a part of life integrated with it. You cannot have all the things at one time, but you can achieve all the things at different times. Managing things is managing energy. According to Aditi Rao a senior scientist and a mother of two, “Following the 80:20 rule is a lifesaver”. It means focusing on 20% of the items to get 80% done. Identify the non-negotiables in your life and learn to prioritize them. For the 80%, automate, delegate, and delete. Only 20% of the work is needed. Then there are a few things that we do daily for which automation and setting reminders are required. Paying bills, remembering important days, etc.

Next is delegating responsibility to more suitable people, and lastly, deleting unnecessary things. There are five important aspects of life: healthcare, family, career, friends, and entertainment. It is given that we can only pay meaningful attention to only three of these in our lifetime. The key is to identify the three most important aspects of your life and work towards them.

Women must focus on conserving their emotional energy. Some also talk about hormonal changes. Study your body closely and identify the changes. There will be days when you are more productive than others. Reserve your important work for these days. Dr.Ruth from Brisbane says that Planning, organizing, and scheduling your responsibilities are key. Scheduling time with friends and personal grooming will give you a good balance. Setting boundaries is also very important on both the professional and personal fronts. Be aware and live your life mindfully.

It takes a village to raise a child. Ask for help if you don’t have a village. Create one of your own. It will go a long way in keeping stress away from our lives. Women need to get rid of the superwoman syndrome. They strive to attain perfection in all areas of life and end up being overwhelmed and highly stressed. Mel Robbins of Kentucky says that it is not about perfection, but finding harmony and contentment in the choices that we make.

Women often feel guilty about not being able to spend enough time with their children or sometimes not being able to attend important events. Purvi Sharma, a mindset coach says that there is a need to shift from a guilt mindset to a growth mindset. As a mother, the desire to be around your child is genuine but not in an unhealthy way. Kids need to see their moms as individuals with their own lives. Only then will they learn to prioritize themselves later in life.

Working mothers face numerous challenges that can impact their personal and professional lives. From finding quality childcare to facing discrimination in the workplace, getting passed over for promotion, or not being offered a flexible work arrangement, they struggle to find time for themselves. Managing their stress levels is daunting. Working mothers find it difficult to maintain healthy relationships with their partners, children, and other family members, as well as friends and colleagues.

Society needs to recognize and address these challenges and offer resources and support to working mothers to help them thrive personally and professionally. Many workplaces still have rigid work schedules that may not accommodate the needs of a working mother, such as sick days, school closures, and unexpected family emergencies. Women need more career advancement opportunities due to the perceived notion that they are less committed or capable of handling leadership roles. Lack of support from employers also hinders their growth. But being a mother does not mean you don’t deserve to grow. Don’t dismiss yourself. Communicating clearly with leaders about what you are capable of is the key.

There is no right way of parenting. You need to listen to your values: What is right for you and your family? Women should stop looking around and comparing themselves. There are no right and wrong choices. Each woman’s journey is unique by prioritizing. Self-care and embracing the journey of self-discovery. Women can find their sense of balance. Motherhood makes women stronger, more resilient, and more resourceful.

So Mom, stop being overly critical about yourself. Have a sense of humour, relax, and enjoy the journey. And on a personal note, I decided to give my helper a paid leave. This is the least I can do from one mother to another.

–Nidhi Raj is an independent writing professional, storyteller, and mother with a keen interest in women’s issues and International Relations.