Impact of Parental Pressure

In a recent book titled “Never Enough: When Achievement Pressure Becomes Toxic — and What We Can Do About It,” parenting researcher Jennifer Breheny Wallace delves into the concept of a “toxic achievement culture” and how excessive pressure to excel can negatively impact children’s mental well-being. Her findings suggest that, contrary to popular belief, one of the best ways for parents to help their children succeed is to sometimes hold them back.

Wallace, who conducted extensive research and collaborated with a Harvard Graduate School of Education researcher, interviewed 6,500 parents across the United States. She discovered that some parents, even with highly motivated children, adopted a different approach by not encouraging every opportunity and setting limits.

According to Wallace, many children are simply mirroring the intense environment around them, particularly in the increasingly competitive race to gain admission to top colleges. Parents can inadvertently contribute to this pressure by allowing their children to be influenced by their peers’ ambition.

Research indicates that attitudes and behaviors are contagious, and children’s anxiety and mental health can deteriorate when surrounded by peers who are overwhelmed by school and extracurricular demands. In such cases, parents may need to intervene and insist that their children slow down.

Wallace points out that some parents she interviewed enforced essential rules, such as ensuring their children received eight to nine hours of sleep each night, allocating time for family and friend interaction, and promoting regular breaks and relaxation.

Importantly, parents themselves should also adopt healthier habits and relationships to serve as role models. They should avoid overloading their schedules with work, prioritize adequate sleep, and make room for quality family time without distractions like checking emails.

Re-reported from the article originally published in The CNBC English