How Much Are You Really Focusing on You? Here’s What Women in Their 30s Wish They Knew in Their 20s
In your twenties, life can feel like a whirlwind. Between figuring out your career, relationships, and everything in between, it’s easy to feel like you need to have it all together. A recent conversation sparked by Isabel, a social media influencer, asked women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond to share what they believe women in their twenties may not yet be considering—but should. And their responses are full of wisdom.
One of the strongest messages was about the importance of self-love. Ally Berger summed it up perfectly: “Self-love.” It’s something many of us hear about but often don’t take to heart until later in life. When you’re in your twenties, it can feel like you’re constantly trying to please others—whether it’s family, friends, or partners. But here’s the thing: you need to take the time to know and love yourself first. When you do, everything else will follow more naturally. Trust me, learning to appreciate your own company and developing that self-awareness early on is life-changing.
Amrita Roy and Laura Benavidez had similar thoughts—life shouldn’t revolve around anyone but you. Too often, we get caught up in what society wants for us. You might think, “Well, what do my parents want? What does my partner expect?” But they urge you to flip the script: What do you want? It’s okay if the answer changes over time, but it’s essential to put yourself at the center of your own life story.
Camille Trentacoste offered a reminder that we sometimes overlook friendships. Sure, in your twenties, it’s easy to think friendships will always be there or that you can make new friends along the way. But Camille points out that the friends you make now are the ones who will walk through life with you, who know your history, and who understand you in ways no one else can. Nurture those relationships because they’re worth their weight in gold.
When it comes to relationships, Jamie Sanford’s advice is: “Stop staying in relationships you’re not happy in.” How many times have we all done that? We stay because we’re afraid of being alone or because we don’t believe we’ll find anyone else. But Jamie is right—being single isn’t the end of the world. Don’t be afraid to walk away from something that isn’t fulfilling, even if the future feels uncertain.
Dr. Chandra Vadhana offered some of the best practical advice out there: start saving and investing early. It’s not the most glamorous topic, but being financially independent is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. There are too many women who put off financial planning or sacrifice their careers for someone else, only to regret it later. As Dr. Chandra said, your career and financial choices should be for you, not anyone else.
And then there’s Ginger Strivelli’s point about family planning. This might feel far off, but Ginger’s advice resonates. While you can go back to school or switch careers later in life, motherhood has a more limited window. If having children is something you want, it’s worth thinking about sooner rather than later.
Ellie Hall also brought up something that I didn’t fully understand in my twenties but now realize: growth is gradual. You don’t wake up one day with everything figured out. In fact, you might think you know it all, only to discover in your thirties that your perspective has shifted completely. And that’s okay! I wish someone had told me in my twenties that it’s perfectly fine not to have all the answers. Life is about evolving, and your twenties are just the start of that process.
Ultimately, the message from these women is clear: focus on yourself. Take the time to discover what truly makes you happy, take care of yourself emotionally and financially, and don’t be afraid to evolve as you go through life. You’re not expected to have everything figured out just yet—give yourself the grace to learn and grow at your own pace. In the end, the journey is just as important as the destination.
-Staff Reporter
