How People with High EQ Excel in Small Talk: 3 Key Practices That Set Them Apart

Emotional Intelligence, often referred to as EQ, represents an individual’s capacity to perceive, manage, control, and communicate their emotions effectively. Matt Abrahams, an expert in interpersonal communication and a lecturer in organizational behavior at Stanford University, highlights how individuals with a high EQ tend to excel in various interactions, not only with their friends and family but also with strangers.

Abrahams emphasizes that many aspects of engaging in small talk revolve around empathy and the ability to establish connections with others, and individuals with a high EQ demonstrate a particular proficiency in this area. Here are three key practices that people with a high EQ employ to enhance their small talk skills:

1. Validation of Others: Individuals with a high EQ exhibit active listening and respond in ways that make the other person feel genuinely understood. They avoid redirecting the conversation back to their own experiences. Instead, they utilize techniques like paraphrasing or follow-up questions to convey that they value and appreciate what the other person is sharing. For instance, when someone discusses their recent vacation, a person with a high EQ might inquire about specific details or simply say, “Tell me more.” In contrast, someone with a lower EQ might immediately steer the conversation towards their own travel experiences.
2. Mirroring: Mirroring entails the subconscious act of imitating the behavior of the person you’re conversing with in a social context. Individuals with a high EQ might unconsciously match the tone of voice or facial expressions of their conversation partner. This mirroring behavior helps establish rapport and connection.
3. Utilizing Open Nonverbal Language: Nonverbal communication, including body language, plays a vital role in conveying interest and active listening. People with a high EQ tend to adopt a more open posture and engage in frequent nodding during conversations. They also provide more “backchannel” responses such as “uh-huh” and “I see.” This open nonverbal language signals their attentiveness and understanding of what’s significant to the other person, reflecting their proficiency in comprehending and respecting the interests and perspectives of others.

In essence, individuals with a high EQ excel in small talk by practicing active listening, mirroring, and employing open nonverbal language. These skills enhance their ability to understand and connect with others, which is particularly advantageous during casual conversations with strangers.

_{Repurposed the article originally published in CNBC}