Ida Tin’s “Dear Men” Series: Part 10 of 29 – About wanting to be pregnant
Dear Men, the is post 10/29 for you. It’s about wanting to be pregnant (dreams, desires and a biological clock)
I decided to get pregnant with a man, 6 years younger than me, after having known him only for three months. The desire to be pregnant was strong enough to make what felt like the most courageous decision I had ever made. I also didn’t want to take no chances on my eggs running out. I had turned 30 and was keenly aware of my biological click ticking – without having any data whatsoever on my egg reserves or other biological indicators of how much longer I’d be fertile.
I was so curious about what it would be like to be pregnant and give birth. So curious that I knew that if I never had children, I’d always feel I had missed out on one of life’s big experiences. Honestly, I think I gave it less thought what it would be like to be a family. I could somewhat imagine what it would feel like to hold a baby, but being a mother to a 8-year-old was beyond what I had any sense of in my body. But having a big belly felt entirely imaginable and very appealing, like the next exciting chapter in my life.
You can always make a list of pros and cons for deciding to get pregnant, but in the end it was a question of desire for me – both bodily, emotional and maybe even sexual.
Under all of these impulses was another current: I had had an abortion a year previously. I felt like something had been started in my body that called me.
I think I had imagined that it would be some sort of expression of love to have a child. I kind of still have that romantic dream, but my reality hasn’t quite been like that. Especially not for choosing to have a second child. By then, the wish was more around giving my son a sibling.
This is my story and every woman have a different story to tell. For some it is to not want children. We need to make that a respected and peaceful choice to.
-This post by Ida Tin is shared on LinkedIn and is republished here with her permission. The SheSight Team has not made any changes to the content.
