Ida Tin’s “Dear Men” Series: Part 12 of 29 – Going through an abortion
Dear Men, this is post 12 about what it feels like to have a woman’s body: Going through an abortion.
(See intro to this series in comments)
One out of three women in the US will have at least one abortion. I had an abortion when I was 28 years old. I had it a few days before the three month cut-off date for when it is possible to have one in Denmark.
My brother came with me to the hospital in Denmark. I was so incredibly sick with nausea. I had taken a flight home from the US just a few days previously. When I woke up after the abortion, I felt better than I had in months.
It is a grief that there was a life that never came to be. But I have never doubted my decision. My life would have taken a very different turn had it not been for my access to abortion. I know that I wouldn’t have had the two children I have now. I also wouldn’t have been able to build Clue.
I want to say that for some men getting a woman pregnant occupies them too little and for others “having” an abortion is a lifelong trauma. I really want us to include men much more into this difficult moment in women’s and their own lives. Not as decision makes, but as huge stakeholders who also need support.
And yes, we also need to hold them accountable for their ejaculation, but that’s a different issue. And why don’t we have better methods for family planning anyway? That is also, a highly relevant question, I wrote about that in post #4.
Still, many men carry an invisible and silent abortion trauma, just like women do, in another way of course as a could-have-been-dad.
I don’t believe making the choice to end a pregnancy is easy for anyone. She makes that decision if she has to, for so many reasons. Here is my opinion: not allowing a woman (or girl!) to have an abortion, at all, is cruel. Inhumane. And also not anyone’s decision to make other than hers.
-This post by Ida Tin is shared on LinkedIn and is republished here with her permission. The SheSight Team has not made any changes to the content.
