Ida Tin’s “Dear Men” Series: Part 19 of 29 – Body Change After Giving Birth
Post 19/29 Dear Men! About the body changing after giving birth.
In the hours after I had given birth, I felt like a truck had run me over, twice!
A year later, I wondered how it hadn’t crossed my mind before I got pregnant what bodily price I’d pay for becoming a mother. And no one had mentioned what it would feel like: All my tissue had become loose, my stomach would never have smooth, tight skin again, my breasts had been expanded to an unimaginable size and given me stretch marks, and my vagina that had a good squeeze before 20 hours of labor felt void of all strength, not to talk about my rupture scar that made sex painful… all minor things compared to all the wild things women encounter during pregnancy and giving birth. A coworker of mine had to have surgery to bring her stomach muscles close enough together again to cover the intestines. She even had to pay for it herself, as health insurance would cover the same issue if someone had had a work accident, but not given birth!
Maybe what changed the most for me was my relation to my body. It served a purpose, which was to serve the child: arms for carrying it, what felt like, all the time. Breasts for milk. Hands for cleaning and carrying. My vagina, not for very much.
I wondered how we would think about birth if it left marks on the dad’s body too? One size smaller condoms for every child?
All of this has changed almost back to what it was before, though not quite. A C-section scar has been added to the marks in my body. I have gone down several bra sizes from my pre-pregnancy baseline. But I have reclaimed my body; it serves me and my pleasure again, and I have my autonomy back.
And I am in awe of what a woman’s body can do, and our ability to create life is nothing less than miraculous. I have so much gratitude for its strength and for the pleasures it gives me.
How did yours change?
Artwork by Kyle Leuck
-This post by Ida Tin is shared on LinkedIn and is republished here with her permission. The SheSight Team has not made any changes to the content.
