Ida Tin’s “Dear Men” Series: Part 20 of 29 – Sex After Giving Birth
Dear Men, this is post 20/29 on what it feels like to live in a female body. This time it is about having sex after giving birth.
What can I say, maybe the most illustrative would be to leave the page half empty…
….of course, with the caveat that women experience this very differently.
Your intimate parts might, or might not, be pretty messed up. The body has a new shape, the belly is still big after it having been expanded into it’s enormous round proportion. The breasts are (maybe) filled with milk, leaking, bleeding, hurting, slumping, being sucked on by the baby. Your whole body is being crawled on, pulled at, sat on, hung on if you have older toddler kids too. You are carrying a baby on your arm (my left arm biceps were so big! The right arm was kept free to do things with), the back is hurting. You are sleep-deprived, always on call for baby cries and baby needs. Your flesh seems to hang looser on the bones than before and maybe there are wounds, scars, stretched parts or more serious injuries. In short, you don’t feel particularly sexy or able to focus on sex.
Ahead are maybe work obligations that you start worrying about, older kids are envious and want your attention, your partner misses intimacy, and you just really want half a day alone. And maybe you’re annoyed with your partner too, becoming parents together is tough on relationships.
The baby is probably in the bed, or the room. You’re hormonally influenced, and you feel sensitive or moody, you could have a post-natal depression, maybe your partner does. What about birth control, becoming pregnant again feels like it would kill you. And if you in spite of all odds get something going, you can be sure the baby has a sixth sense and will wake up at the most annoying time.
Artwork by Kyle Leuck
-This post by Ida Tin is shared on LinkedIn and is republished here with her permission. The SheSight Team has not made any changes to the content.
