Is Obedience Overrated?

‘Obey your elders’ or ‘respect your elders’ is something I have never understood. – Writes Vandhana Rajendran on Facebook.

Vandhana Rajendran writes on Facebook: 

“From my childhood, I always felt obedience was an overrated virtue. 

My parents were very liberal and I was a studious kid, so I never caused anyone any trouble. But, my parents never demanded obedience – they explained the pros and cons of the different choices before me and encouraged me to make the choice. Different opinions were always welcome and I grew up believing all households are as democratic as mine. Well, I know better now 🙁

We should never confuse respect with obedience. Respect is mutual. Everyone deserves it – young or old, rich or poor, boss or subordinate, teacher or student. From a young age, when we demand obedience from kids, we are in a way stifling their ability to question, their ability to try and fail (and eventually succeed), and most importantly their ability to escape toxic relationships. 

‘Obey your elders’ or ‘respect your elders’ is something I have never understood. Yes, they may have the advantage of experience, but they may not. They can give suggestions based on their acquired wisdom, but demanding obedience is not required. In a school too, I have seen that the teachers who are most loved and emulated are the ones who respect their students. Those who demand obedience based on their authority only manage to create resentment in the heart and humility in behavior. So what do you all feel? Is obedience overrated? Do you obey others? Do you expect those younger than you to obey you?”

-Vandhana Rajendran (Written on Facebook)