Raising with Roots
“If we are to preserve culture, we must continue to create it.”
No individual develops in isolation from their culture. Culture and traditions form the foundation of our lives, shaping the way families operate and influencing how children grow, develop, and perceive themselves, as well as others. However, traditions can also be restrictive. The behaviors developed within a cultural framework serve as both markers of identity and potential barriers to adaptation.
Heritage or Harm? The Adverse Effects of Cultural Traditions on Families
Cultural traditions often impose a gender hierarchy within the family structure, influencing how children are raised and how family members interact, take responsibility, and live. From a young age, children absorb the gendered facets of their cultural identity and are often subjected to stereotypes that restrict them from being their authentic selves.
For instance, a fifteen-year-old girl may be expected to take care of the home when her mother is away, rather than her father, simply because it is considered a woman’s duty (not job) to manage domestic tasks—regardless of age. Meanwhile, a boy’s aspiration to become a cook might be dismissed as unmasculine or even seen as a failure, because he is expected to pursue a more traditionally masculine job. The emotional weight of fulfilling these cultural expectations can lead to internal conflict, particularly when personal desires clash with traditional values.
This creates a profound emotional and psychological burden for children, especially those who do not conform to the prescribed gender norms of their culture. A girl who expresses interest in sports or academic pursuits rather than household tasks, or a boy who is more sensitive or creative, may experience an emotional struggle. They might feel as though they are betraying their culture and family by not adhering to the traditional gender expectations placed upon them, leading to feelings of inadequacy, confusion, shame, or even generational trauma.
Evolving Traditions and Family Dynamics
Does this mean we should abandon our culture and traditions entirely? Of course not.
As we evolve, so too must our traditions and cultural practices. In recent years, many families have found ways to balance tradition with more flexible gender roles. Progressive families are increasingly embracing egalitarian dynamics, encouraging boys and girls to follow their own interests, express their emotions, and contribute equally to household responsibilities. This shift not only promotes healthier family dynamics but also allows children to develop a stronger sense of self-worth and individuality. For boys, it means liberation from toxic masculinity; for
girls, it provides access to opportunities that were previously out of reach.
Navigating the Generational Shift
However, the transition from traditional to modern views on gender roles is not always smooth. In many families, these changes create generational conflicts, where older family members struggle to accept new norms and may feel disrespected or unheard. Children often feel torn between their loyalty to family traditions and their desire to live authentically. Parents are caught between their children’s needs and the expectations of their own parents. In many cases, mothers are held accountable for failing to instill traditional values in their children, with the
the burden of blame rarely falling on fathers.
It is essential for all family members to engage in open, respectful dialogue to foster understanding, rather than resorting to criticism. Flexibility and open-mindedness are key to bridging the gap between tradition and modernity. After all, the ultimate goal is not to achieve external perfection but to cultivate inner happiness and fulfillment for each individual.
As society continues to evolve, so too must the cultures and traditions that guide family life, ensuring that they support not just collective identity, but also individual well-being and personal fulfillment. That is why it is necessary to have a balance between tradition and progress. Families that embrace evolving gender roles while maintaining the positive aspects of their cultural heritage are well-positioned to provide both emotional support and the freedom to pursue personal aspirations.
-Anukriti Jain is pursuing a Master’s in English from the University of Delhi. She enjoys cooking and playing the synthesizer.
