Signs of Emotionally Absent Parenting

Signs of Growing Up with an Emotionally Absent Parent

Growing up with an emotionally absent parent can have lasting effects on children, impacting their expectations and behaviors in relationships. Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson, a clinical psychologist specializing in emotionally immature parents, outlines signs that may manifest in adults who experienced emotional neglect:

1. Minimal Relationship Expectations: Adults raised by emotionally absent parents may learn to expect very little from others. This affects their self-esteem, leading them to accept minimal emotional support or reactions from partners.

2. Performance to Gain Attention: A side effect can be a constant need to perform or charm to gain attention and praise. Individuals may feel that being themselves isn’t enough to keep someone interested, driving them to seek external validation.

3. Vulnerability to Narcissistic Partners: Due to the craving for love and attention coupled with a learned acceptance of very little, individuals may become targets for narcissistic partners. The idealization phase by narcissists may feel fulfilling for someone who grew up with an absence of love.

4. Emotional Labor in Relationships: Adult children of emotionally absent parents often find themselves doing emotional work in relationships. This includes communication, emotional sharing, and maintaining civility, placing a significant burden on them.

5. Delayed Expression of Needs: The recognition of unmet emotional needs may not surface until later in life, typically after marriage or in long-term relationships. These individuals may start demanding more emotional support, realizing they didn’t receive it from their emotionally absent parent.

Dr. Gibson advises individuals with such experiences to be cautious in making serious commitments in relationships. Taking time to observe and understand dynamics before moving in or getting married allows for awareness and avoidance of potential pitfalls. Breaking the pattern of emotional neglect can lead to healthier, supportive relationships in the future.

_{Repurposed article originally published in Business Insider}