Tips to Break Negative Self-Talk Cycle

Negative self-talk, where you criticize yourself in your head, can hurt your confidence. Judy Ho, a neuropsychologist at Pepperdine University, says these worries usually don’t come true.

A 2019 study from Penn State University had 29 anxious people write down their worries for 10 days. Over the next month, 91.4% of these worries never happened.

In her TED Talk, Ho explains that negative self-talk can stop you from reaching your goals. She told CNBC Make It, “We think negative self-talk motivates us, but it often makes us fail.”

To break this cycle, recognize what triggers your negative thoughts and learn to distance yourself from them.

1. Identify your triggers. Notice what situations make you anxious, like work meetings or social events. Look for patterns to understand what triggers these thoughts.

2. Question your thoughts. When you know what triggers your self-criticism, question if these thoughts are true. Ho says, “Thoughts are not the absolute truth.” Ask yourself what evidence supports or contradicts your thoughts. Write down the evidence in two columns. You’ll often find more evidence against your worries.

3. Use ‘Yes … but …’ statements. Balance your thoughts with this formula: “Yes, I [insert worry], but I [insert positive outcome].” For example, if you worry about not being productive, say: “Yes, I didn’t get much done today, but I finished the top three items on my list.”

4. Label your thoughts. Create distance from your self-talk by labeling thoughts as just thoughts. Ho says this helps you realize that just because you think something doesn’t make it true. This keeps those thoughts from becoming your reality.

By questioning and rethinking your thoughts, you can stop negative cycles and focus on your goals.

Re-reported from the article originally published in CNBC.