Why can’t a woman earn more than her husband?

In an average Indian household, a woman earning more money than her husband is considered a bad thing. A woman being in a higher position than her husband is considered to be a blow on the manliness of the husband. There is the popular opinion that a woman earning more money than her husband will result in problems in a marriage.

But why can’t a woman earn more than her husband? Because as per society a man should be the primary earning member of the family and woman should be dependent on him. Society links a man’s usefulness in bringing money to his family. So, when a woman earns more money, her husband is bound to feel threatened as his usefulness in the family has gone down considerably.

Feminist historians have talked about how labour became gendered in India with the establishment of a patriarchal caste-based society in the Rig-Vedic period.  This is when it was considered to be honorable for upper-caste women to stay at home and only work within their homes. It was the lower-caste women from poor backgrounds that did the work outside their houses. And hence the pride of the family got associated with the fact of whether the women in the house worked or not.

Even today, in patriarchal families it is their pride issue to not let the woman of the house work. Living with the daughter-in-law’s money is seen as a threat to their honor. Unfortunately, a man who earns less than his wife still faces criticism from his family and society. He is seen as not a man enough.

This notion is not only harmful to women, but also to men too. Men suffer the social pressure to always be one step ahead of their wife and suffer a huge amount of inferiority complex if he fails to meet that. This is a very problematic situation as this inferiority complex can later even result in problems in the marriage.

Women who are highly educated or highly paid in their respective jobs often find it very difficult to find husbands. At the time of marriage, families make sure that the man is in a higher position than the wife. Even women often tend to seek out men who are more accomplished than them. This is not just because of the social norms, but according to nature, a female would always tend to seek out a male partner who has better attributes.

However, the world is changing, and more and more women are getting a higher education and getting growth in their careers. In this situation, society needs to accept the fact that a woman earning more than her husband is totally an okay situation. Both wife and the husband can take joint responsibility for the finances of the house and women can be the one who takes the majority of the share of monetary responsibilities. Men do not need to associate their pride with the amount of money they earn. Marriage should be a natural union with no power hierarchy or pride struggle.

We hope to see a better future where there is no prejudice against women who earn more money than their husbands.  

-Poorna Krishnan