Coping with Complex Emotions on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate and honor the women who have given us life, love, and support. But for some, it is also a time of sadness, pain, and loss. Many have lost their mothers, many haven’t been able to become mothers due to fertility issues, many mothers are not treated well by their children, and many were raised in orphanages or by not-so-supportive step or foster mothers. How can these women manage their feelings with Mother’s Day when it brings up such difficult emotions?

Honoring Loss and Celebrating Life

There is no one right way to deal with Mother’s Day grief, but here are some tips that might help:

• Acknowledge your feelings– Don’t try to suppress or deny your grief. It is normal and natural to feel sad, angry, guilty, or lonely on Mother’s Day. Allow yourself to express your emotions in healthy ways, such as crying, writing, or talking to someone you trust.
• Connect with your loved ones– Surround yourself with people who understand your loss and can offer support and comfort. You don’t have to be alone on Mother’s Day. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can empathize with your situation and share your memories of your mother or your motherhood journey.
• Create new traditions– If Mother’s Day has been difficult for you since your mother’s passing or since you faced fertility challenges, consider creating new traditions to honor her memory or your own identity as a woman. You could plant a tree or flowers in her name, donate to a charity that she supported or that helps other women in need, make a scrapbook or collage of photos and mementos, or do something that she loved or that you love to do.
• Put your feelings into words– Writing can be a therapeutic way to cope with grief and to express your thoughts and feelings. You could write a letter to your mother, telling her how much you miss her and what you appreciate about her. You could also write a letter to yourself, affirming your worth and resilience as a woman and a mother (even if you don’t have children). You could also write a poem, a story, or an editorial piece for an online or print publication, sharing your perspective and insights on Mother’s Day.
• Practice self-care– Taking care of yourself physically and mentally can help you cope with the emotions on Mother’s Day. Be sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and drink enough water. Not only can this make you feel physically better, but you know your mother would want you to stay healthy. You could also treat yourself to something that makes you happy, such as a massage, a movie, a book, or a hobby. Remember that you deserve to be happy and enjoy life.

For women who have had difficult relationships with their mothers, or who were raised in less-than-ideal circumstances, Mother’s Day can be a reminder of past hurts and struggles. In these moments, it can be helpful to focus on the present and to find ways to cultivate healthy relationships with the people in your lives who offer love and support. This might also include seeking therapy, finding support groups, or reaching out to trusted friends or family members and finding meaning and joy in the day.

Staff Writer