How to Raise Confident Kids, Not People Pleasers
If you’re a parent, you know just how impressionable children can be. They soak up the world around them like sponges, and their self-esteem and attitudes can be greatly influenced by their environment. One common concern for parents is the fear of raising a people pleaser – a child who constantly seeks approval and validation from others, struggles to say no, and prioritizes others’ needs over their own. But how can you prevent this behavior and instead nurture confidence in your child?
Identifying People-Pleasing Characteristics
Before we delve into prevention, let’s identify some common traits of people pleasers in children:
- Difficulty saying no: People pleasers often find it challenging to decline requests or set boundaries.
- Seeking approval and validation: They constantly seek approval and validation from others to feel worthy.
- Prioritizing others: They put others’ needs and desires ahead of their own, sometimes to their detriment.
- Avoiding conflict: People pleasers go to great lengths to avoid conflicts or disagreements.
- Anxiety and guilt: When they can’t meet others’ expectations, they feel anxious or guilty.
- Low self-esteem: They may have low self-worth and struggle to assert their opinions or boundaries.
Preventing People-Pleasing Behavior
- Develop a strong sense of self: Encourage your child to explore various interests and build friendships to broaden their perspective and boost self-confidence. Building resilience takes time, so be patient and supportive.
- Teach them to value their needs: Help your child understand the importance of their own needs and desires while also considering others. Involve them in age-appropriate decision-making to foster independence.
- Make saying ‘no’ acceptable: Encourage open communication, validate their feelings and opinions, and emphasize that it’s okay to say ‘no’ and set boundaries.
- Be a role model: Children often imitate their parents, so showcase healthy behaviors by setting boundaries, expressing your opinions, and respecting your needs. Teach them empathy, understanding, and staying true to themselves.
- Praise their efforts: Remind your child that their worth isn’t dependent on others’ opinions. Encourage and praise their accomplishments and efforts.
Re-reported from the article originally published in Only My Health
