Fear of Rejection and How it Affects Your Brain?
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I once read a quote on rejection that says, “Rejection is not a reflection of your worth but a redirection to something better.”
This sounded so right to me because I have always believed that rejection is never a failure but an opportunity to make a second turn.
As a therapist and a clinical nutritionist, my profession deals with speaking to people and counseling them against their fears most of the time. I have realized that the only obstacle to our progress in life is the way we think and process information. Many times, our cognition (our brain) can challenge how we respond to situations.
Well, there are many incidents that I can write about, but the main theme of this article is to make people understand the concept of Rejection and how it affects your cognitive abilities!
What is Fear of Rejection?
Fear is a response to stress whereas, fear of rejection is an outcome of a stress response cycle.
In layman’s language, I would say that rejection is all about a point in time when we do not fit in a particular situation. And when do we feel rejected? Humans feel rejected when they have expectations of a particular situation or when the outcome does not meet their expectations, there is an imbalance in dopamine release. And we all know that neurotransmitters play a crucial role in managing our emotions.
Now that we have dissected the concept of Rejection, and before you find yourself questioning my motive, let me tell you that the biggest factor that leads to depression in human beings is the FEAR OF REJECTION AND FAILURE.
This might sound completely alien to some of you, but fear of rejection can totally disturb your cognitive abilities. When your cognitive abilities are disturbed, it prevents your neurogenesis (formation of new neurons). This will lead to depression- the devil’s workshop.
When do we develop a fear of rejection?
Fear of rejection is developed in cases :
- When the person has seen persistent rejections in his/her life a couple of times.
- When a person just FEELS the rejection psychologically, this happens in case of excessive introspection.
- When a person is surrounded by unsupportive family and friends.
- Fear of abandonment in kids (especially during single parenting and foster care) can lead to fear of rejection as they grow into adults due to childhood trauma and circumstances.
The psychological consequences of Fear of Rejection:
A person suffering from fear of rejection will always find themselves stuck in situations. Because it impacts their decision-making abilities. When a person loses confidence, he/she might not be able to think productively.
Fear of rejection is an emotional response that settles down deep in your hippocampus leading to major depressive disorders. Fear and depression go hand in hand.
The person might also have an aversion to risk-taking in life. I wouldn’t say taking risks is important for everyone but in this context, risk-taking also means taking a leap of faith and exploring opportunities beyond your imagination.
It is observed that humans take risks and put their strong foot forward when they are more confident in themselves. Here, Fear of Rejection becomes an obstacle and this fear is purely psychological.
What can I do when I am stuck in fear?
When you are unable to move forward due to fear of rejection:
- Embrace rejection, and accept it for that point in time.
- Embrace your flaws (if you have any). Remember no one is perfect, not even the person who rejected you.
- Shift your focus and have healthy distractions. Engage yourself in hobbies and socialize.
- Do not cling to the outcome, always give your best shot and surrender to your hard work.
- Let it go… let that emotion fade.
- Keep away from negative self-talk.
- Finally, seek help from professionals (Therapy and counselling)
How we react to situations has a great impact on our lives, just like the Domino effect. Fear is a temporary glitch in your brain. It is difficult for a person to realize where they stand at times, and hence seeking professional help is very essential to realize we have a situation to be addressed!
–Manisha B K is clinical nutritionist, psychotherapist, astrologer, registered yoga teacher, medical writer and the founder of Nutreboot & VedicFusion.
