Ask the Mentor

Finding purpose, overcoming self-doubt, staying motivated, practicing self-care, and building relationships are all crucial aspects of a fulfilling life. Through my own experiences and challenges, I’ve gained insights that I’m like to share with you. Let’s explore these topics together, and I hope my perspective can offer you practical guidance for your journey ahead.

1. How can I find my life’s purpose and align my career with my values and interests?

Finding your purpose isn’t about having some grand epiphany. It’s more like putting together a puzzle, piece by piece.

Start by thinking about what really matters to you. What gets you excited? Maybe it’s helping others, creating art, or solving tricky problems. For example, my friend Sarah always loved animals. She volunteered at a shelter and realized she could turn that passion into a career as a veterinarian. Try new things! Join a club, take a class, or volunteer. You might discover a hidden talent or interest. Talk to people who seem happy in their jobs. Ask them how they got there. Their stories might inspire you or give your ideas you hadn’t considered before.

Remember, you don’t need to have it all figured out right away. Start small. If you’re interested in writing, try starting a blog. If you’re curious about business, maybe offer to help a local shop with their social media. These little steps can lead to big discoveries about what you enjoy and what you’re good at.

Here are some books that can offer valuable insights and frameworks for self-discovery:

• “Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life” by Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia
• “Designing Your Life” by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

2. How can I identify and break through limiting beliefs that are holding me back?

We all have that little voice in our head that sometimes says, “You can’t do this.” But here’s the thing – that voice is often wrong! Recognizing and challenging these limiting beliefs is key to personal growth.

The first step is to identify these limiting beliefs. Here’s how to catch them in action:

• Self-reflection: Take a moment to reflect on areas where you feel stuck. Are there recurring negative thoughts that surface? For instance, if public speaking makes you anxious, you might have a belief like “I’m a terrible speaker.”
• Journaling Power: Writing down your thoughts can be very revealing. Keep track of situations that trigger self-doubt or anxiety. Notice any patterns in the negative self-talk that emerges. Perhaps you find yourself saying “I can’t do this” when faced with a challenge.
• Taming Your Inner Critic: Pay attention to your internal voice. Is it constantly criticizing and discouraging you? This negativity is a strong sign of limiting beliefs holding you hostage.

Once you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, it’s time to take action. Replace those negative thoughts with more positive, realistic ones. Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “This is challenging, but I can learn and improve.” It might feel weird at first, but keep at it. Over time, it becomes more natural.

Taking action, even small steps, can help build your confidence. If you’re nervous about job interviews, practice with a friend or record yourself answering common questions. Each time you face a fear, you prove to yourself that you’re capable.

3. What strategies do you recommend for maintaining motivation and focus over the long term?

Keeping motivated, especially for long-term goals, can be tough. It’s normal to have ups and downs. The key is to build habits that keep you moving forward, even on the days when you don’t feel super inspired.

Set clear, achievable goals. Break big tasks into smaller ones. If you’re writing a book, don’t just say, “I’ll write a book this year.” Instead, set a goal like “I’ll write 500 words every day.” It’s more manageable and you’ll see progress more quickly.

Find ways to make your work enjoyable. If you’re studying for a big exam, try different study methods until you find one that clicks. Maybe you learn best with flashcards, or by teaching the material to someone else.

Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Finished a challenging chapter in your textbook? Treat yourself to your favorite coffee or take a relaxing walk. These little rewards can help keep you going.

4. What role does self-care play in achieving success, and what are some effective self-care practices?

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s essential! Think of self-care as maintenance for your mind and body. Just like you wouldn’t expect your car to run without fuel and regular check-ups, you can’t perform at your best if you’re running on empty.

Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating well, and moving your body regularly. These basics make a huge difference in how you feel and perform. I noticed a big change in my energy and focus when I started prioritizing 7-8 hours of sleep each night.

Don’t forget about mental self-care too. This could be meditation, journaling, or just taking a few minutes each day to do something you enjoy. I like to start my mornings with 10 minutes of quiet reflection – it helps me feel centered for the day ahead.

Making Self-Care a Habit:

Schedule Self-Care: Treat self-care activities as non-negotiable, just like appointments or work commitments.
Start Small: Begin with small, manageable practices and gradually build them into your routine for consistency.
Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to your body’s signals and respond to its needs for rest, nourishment, and support.
Be Kind to Yourself: Practice self-compassion and treat yourself with the same understanding you would offer a friend.

Remember, self-care looks different for everyone. Maybe for you it’s reading a book, going for a run, or cooking a nice meal. The important thing is to find what recharges you and make time for it regularly.

5. What are some practical steps for building and maintaining healthy relationships, both personally and professionally?

Good relationships, both personal and professional, are like the secret sauce of a happy life. They take effort, but they’re so worth it.

Communication is key. Really listen when others are talking. Try to understand their perspective, even if you disagree. Be honest about your own thoughts and feelings too. My partner and I have a rule: we always share how we’re feeling, even if it’s uncomfortable. It’s helped us avoid a lot of misunderstandings.

Make time for the important people in your life. Schedule regular catch-ups with friends, family, or colleagues. It’s easy to get busy and put these off, but they’re crucial for maintaining strong connections.

Show appreciation for others. A simple “thank you” or recognizing someone’s hard work can go a long way. I make it a point to thank my team members for their specific contributions – it boosts morale and strengthens our working relationships.

Respect differences and set healthy boundaries. It’s okay to say no sometimes or to ask for what you need. Clear boundaries actually help build stronger, more authentic relationships. Building great relationships is an ongoing process. It takes time and effort, but the rewards – support, understanding, and genuine connection – are priceless.

The insights and strategies we’ve discussed are not one-time solutions, but rather tools you can continually refine and apply throughout your life. As you move forward, be patient with yourself and celebrate the small victories along the way. Always trust your instincts and adapt these suggestions to fit your unique circumstances.

–Usha Kumari Sharma is a Facilitator, Counselor, and Freelance Soft Skill Trainer with a Master in HR and psychology.