The Simple Western Thing!
I have a colleague who is 26 years old. An American kid with American parents. Let’s call this guy SM.
In the place where I work, we do not share any personal details. But on Mondays, we get into a meeting and share little tidbits about our personal lives. So what I learned about SM is that his parents are separated. If he spends Thanksgiving with his Dad’s family, he would be spending Christmas with his Mom’s family. Yeah, they have their own families now and that seems to be okay with him. SM works hard, is self-sufficient, pays his home and car loans, and hardly goes to his parents for anything at all. His strongest support system involves his grandparents who seemingly stay very close to his own house. Weekends are spent mostly helping them with their gadgets or lawn-mowing work, and then he is back to his den! I don’t know about his childhood. Whatever has happened has only molded him into a responsible guy with his priorities set right. However complicated his family may sound to us, for them, it’s pretty simple.
Wait, we’re not done yet! SM has another constant in his life now. His girlfriend mostly lives with him and sometimes with her mother. SM and his girlfriend share expenses, work, and everything that goes on in their daily lives. They are both busy and they are not having an ‘affair’ as we Malayalees love to call it. They are in love and they are independent and so they have decided to stay together. Sounds so simple when we say it like that. He makes it sound very simple when he tells us about what they did together during weekends. No one pulls his leg, and none of us raise eyebrows. We listen and we nod. That’s all! It’s really simple!
SM plans to get married in a couple of months. The question from our boss was,’ So you would need some time off for your honeymoon?’. He was not deliberately making SM blush. He was just asking for the facts. SM replies that they are getting married on a Saturday so all that he would need is time off for the honeymoon. It’s that simple! We did not ask for invitations because here people invite 20-30 guests and we don’t fit into that group of his. It’s pretty simple!
I am an Indian with strong Indian values. But I don’t know why, I like all this simplicity!”
-Sarah Philip