Ask the Mentor

As a mentor, I am here to discuss some of the challenging situations you might encounter, both at work and in your personal life. My goal is to provide you with practical advice and effective strategies to help you navigate these issues. We’ll look into various scenarios, understand the underlying problems, and explore solutions that can empower you to deal with these challenges confidently and successfully. Let’s begin this journey together and discover how you can turn these obstacles into opportunities for growth and learning. Here’s how we can tackle these common challenges:

1. What should I do if someone treats me unfairly because of my gender?

It’s never okay to be treated differently because of your gender. Here are some steps you can take:

• Document: Keep a record of specific instances where you felt treated unfairly. Include dates, times, and details of what happened. Having proof strengthens your case.
• Report It: Discuss the situation with a trusted colleague, mentor, or HR representative. Their advice can help you decide the best course of action, which might involve filing a formal complaint.

Here’s a personal experience: One of my mentees was constantly interrupted during meetings. We decided to document these instances, and she eventually spoke to her manager about it. The manager took action and addressed the issue, which led to a more respectful work environment.

2. What can I do to feel more confident when talking to people at work?

Feeling confident can be tough, especially in a new situation. Here are some tips to project that inner strength:

• Be Prepared: Knowledge is power! Research topics beforehand and rehearse key points you want to convey. The more prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel.
• Focus on Strengths: Identify what you’re good at and leverage that knowledge in conversations. When you talk about your areas of expertise, your passion and knowledge will shine through.
• Fake it till you Make It: Project confidence even if you don’t feel it completely. Stand tall, make eye contact, and speak clearly. This outward confidence can boost your inner confidence over time.

Here’s a personal experience: While I was working as a counselor, one of my clients felt intimidated about speaking up in the classroom and meetings. We practiced beforehand, focusing on her strengths. When she finally spoke up with well-prepared points, her ideas were well-received, and it gave her a much-needed confidence boost.

3. What actions can I take if my child is being bullied in school?

Bullying is a serious issue that needs to be addressed immediately. Here’s how you can support your child:

• Listen: Create a safe space for your child to talk freely and openly about what’s happening. Let them know you’re there for them and take their concerns seriously.
• Document: Keep a record of bullying incidents, including dates, times, and details of what transpired.
• Work with the School: Contact the teacher and principal to address the issue. Advocate for your child and work with the school to find a solution.

Here’s another personal experience from my time as a counselor: A child I was working with was being bullied. We started by documenting each incident and discussing strategies for effective communication with the school. Together, we approached the school administration with the documented evidence. Thankfully, the school took immediate action, and the bullying stopped. It was a great relief to see the child’s situation improve, and it showed the importance of speaking up and seeking help when needed.

4. How can I address feeling out of place and frustrated with my colleagues’ attitudes?

Feeling out of place with colleagues can be isolating. Here are some strategies to bridge the gap:

• Find Common Ground: Look for shared interests or hobbies to build rapport. Maybe you both love cooking or enjoy the same sports team. Common ground can be a great conversation starter.
• Focus on Your Work: Contribute meaningfully to projects and demonstrate your professionalism. When your work speaks for itself, it can earn you respect from colleagues.
• Seek New Connections: Look for allies in the workplace who share your values. These connections can provide a sense of belonging and support.

Here’s a story from when I was mentoring: I had a mentee who felt ostracized by a clique at her workplace. We decided to focus on her strengths and accomplishments rather than the negativity. As she continued to showcase her positive attitude and strong work ethic, she started to attract colleagues who really valued her contributions. It wasn’t long before she formed a new network of supportive coworkers, which really changed her experience at work for the better. It was a powerful reminder of how staying true to oneself can naturally draw the right people into your circle.

Remember, you’re not alone! These are common challenges, and there are steps you can take to overcome them. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support from mentors, colleagues, or HR.

–Usha Kumari Sharma is a Facilitator, Counselor, and Freelance Soft Skill Trainer with a Master’s in HR and psychology.