Ask The Mentor

Q – I come from a family of a huge debt, with no assets at all. It all happened because of my father’s misappropriation. I am 24 years old and pursuing my chartered accountancy, and my sister is doing her engineering degree. My mother works for an office and is trying hard to make two ends meet. It has been more than 15 years that we are going through such a dire situation. Sometimes, I feel so hopeless that there is no way out of this predicament. I don’t speak to my father and for many reasons, I fight and verbally argue with my mom and my sister, and I cannot adjust with them either.

Hello Warrior,

First and foremost, a big KUDOS to your strong mother for single-handedly raising you and providing you with the most powerful weapon a girl can have – EDUCATION! Secondly, don’t think your situation is hopeless – you both are doing professional courses which has the power to make you financially independent and give you a bright future! Your prime focus should be on completing your studies with good marks and securing a good job; because your mother deserves 2 extra shoulders to balance her load that she has been carrying for all these 15 years. Once you start earning, you can slowly clear all your debts and give your mother some peace, rest and happiness. Take your father for counselling and make him understand the harmful effects he has caused to your family. “Put your foot down” and demand him to get a job and behave responsibly. Manage your accounts by yourself with your CA skills, and keep a tight rein on the money that he has access to. If he doesn’t redeem himself in a few months, maybe he doesn’t deserve a place in your life. You should think of moving out and starting a new life without him. Lastly, your anger is understandable; it is normal that you vent out all your repressed frustration on your family. But be aware that your predicament was *not* caused by your mother or sister, so please try to talk to them openly and give your relationship a second chance. You all need to stand together and fight the hardships together! I am sure you will emerge stronger out of this battle because YOU ARE A WARRIOR, not a victim. “Strong women aren’t just born; they are forged through the challenges of life” !! 

Much love.

Ms. Deepa Perumal
QA & Management Professional
Mentor @ C2C Mission 2021 Mentors Batch 2

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