Beauty Standards - SheSight

Have you ever seen a Malayalam movie that talks about why some women feel like their dreams have a deadline? And, what really makes someone a woman? Is it her skin color, her size, her figure, or perhaps her bust size?

Reflecting on my own experiences, during my childhood, I maintained a slender physique that persisted even into my teenage years. Concerned about this, my mother sought solutions, taking me to an Ayurvedic doctor in hopes of transforming my body into what is often deemed the ‘perfect’ shape. Despite trying various medications, there was no noticeable change, leaving my mother increasingly anxious. It’s a common concern for mothers to worry about their daughters conforming to societal standards, especially when it comes to physical appearance. These moments of reflection prompt us to question and explore the broader definition of beauty and success in a woman’s life.

When I first entered college, a seemingly casual chat with a friend took an unexpected turn as she indulged in body-shaming, not only me but also another leaner friend. It was more than just an insult; it felt like an arrow straight to the heart. As years passed, similar instances recurred, both in my marital home and among colleagues at the office.

Those who body shame may not realize the lasting trauma they inflict. From childhood to adulthood, it leaves individuals feeling worthless and less confident, affecting their daily life.

“I’ve seen people suffering because of their breasts, their bodies that are not-so-perfect according to society. Our society has certain perceptions and standards about the female body. If you don’t meet those standards, you will be treated differently,” says Shruthi Sharanyam, whose debut feature film, B 32 Muthal 44 Vare (32 to 44), on body politics and the male gaze, has become a talking point in Kerala. In the film, B stands for bust.

Why is it that most men often reduce women to mere physical attributes? Is a woman defined solely by her color, size, or societal notions of beauty? Whether she’s deemed skinny or fat, does it mean she’s unfit for anything? She is, after all, a human being, born on this Earth like everyone else. Should her entire worth be tethered to the structure of her body? Does lacking a specific bust size negate her womanhood?

Ah, the era we find ourselves in! Despite the diversity of people with varying abilities around us, regrettably, narrow-minded thoughts persist, both in words and actions, from both men and women.

From her earliest memories to her college days, and even after embracing motherhood, the echoes of judgment persist. Friends, colleagues, family, and in-laws seem fixated on an antiquated notion: that a woman’s worth is solely determined by physical attributes. The relentless emphasis on size, figure, and color is not just archaic but emotionally burdensome. Some absurdly link her relationship status to these superficial criteria. It’s time to break free from these antiquated judgments and let every woman define her worth beyond such shallow stereotypes.

It’s not just about her character, dedication to family, professional accomplishments, or hard-earned success. It’s disheartening that, even in this day and age, her worth is unjustly measured by something as superficial as her size! It’s a crime against the most valuable human being. The need for change is long overdue, and it’s high time we break free from such outdated standards!

-Rehna Haridas, a Prayaana member and developer at Prayaana Jobs, is a nature enthusiast, dancer, musician, writer, and IT programmer.