Matrimonial Maze: Unveiling Marriage Pressure’s Toll on Women’s Mental Health

From the moment a girl learns to differentiate between a Barbie and a Ken doll, society subtly starts sowing the seeds of marriage. While the desire for intimacy is natural, the relentless emphasis on marriage can take a toll on a woman’s mental health. 

1. The Great Expectations

As a woman in her late 20s, the great expectations surrounding marriage have intensified around me. Family gatherings have turned into impromptu matchmaking events, questions like “When are you getting married?” have replaced the casual greeting of “hello”, and well-meaning aunts have transformed into Sherlock Holmes, armed with unsolicited advice. The pressure to conform to societal norms has become palpable as if my worth as a woman is tied to the presence of a ring on my finger. 

2. Is it FOMO or just an insecurity?

In the age of social media, I have observed the pressure to show a picture-perfect life amplifies the stress associated with marriage. The constant barrage of engagement announcements, wedding photos, and baby updates can evoke a sense of inadequacy and FOMO(Fear Of Missing Out). Women may find themselves comparing their lives to curated highlight reels, fostering feelings of unworthiness and incompetence. 

3. Are you running out of time? Really?

For women, there is an unfortunate biological clock that society insists will stop ticking. The anxiety surrounding fertility and the fear of “running out of time” creates a frantic rush towards the altar. This ticking clock, along with the nonstop lecture about the optimal age for childbearing, turns your personal life choice into a race against time. 

4. The Unseen Toll 

Anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation are like unwelcome guests, and beneath the surface, the pressures of marriage on mental health become profound. The fear of judgment, and stigma surrounding singlehood creates a toxic internal dialogue that exponentially reduces your self-esteem and confidence. Being a woman, we internalize societal expectations which leads to a distorted self-image, making us critical, harsh, and unforgivable towards ourselves.

Here are 3 effective strategies that will help you cope with the stress of the matrimonial maze:

1. Define your timeline 

One of the primary stressors is the external pressure to conform to societal timelines. Take a step back and define your own timeline for marriage. Understand that your life is unique, and it’s okay if your path is different from the conventional expectations. 

2. Maintain a sense of humor

Amid this pressure cooker of expectations, it becomes very important to find moments of laughter. Humor can be a powerful and healthy coping mechanism, helping women navigate this maze with grace and silence. Ignoring the nonsense of matchmaking uncles and aunts with a smile provides a much-needed break from our minds. 

3. Prioritize self-love and independence

Recognizing that your worth extends far beyond your marital status can be a transformative realization for you. Cultivate a sense of self, pursue your passion, and build a life on your terms, empower yourself to redefine society’s narrative, and never give in to the suffocating pressure. 

The truth is family gatherings won’t stop turning into impromptu matchmaking events and relatives won’t stop turning into self-appointed matchmakers with unsolicited advice. You will feel the pressure mounting but know that unless you tune out the background noise of the outside world, you will not be able to make an informed decision for your life. So, it’s time to challenge the status quo, celebrate individual journeys, set realistic expectations, and embrace flexibility and adaptability.

“A woman’s worth can never be defined by her relationship status.”

-Bivita Chhetri is a Transformative Counseling Psychologist and Emotion-Focused Coach, guiding self-discovery and empowering others on their journey.