Satirical Musings on Feminism and Identities

Being called a feminist is a title to be celebrated—a feather in the crown for ambitious, romantic, fun-loving, introverted, extroverted, and adventurous women and girls. Just like any other adjective you want to embrace, feminism is part of your identity. Celebrating womanhood means celebrating all of these qualities and still being a “feminist.” Unfortunately, the majority of women still believe that being a feminist is a negative identity. They think it’s about male-bashing, which is not true.

Being a woman means being a feminist. A woman can be strong and romantic simultaneously. We can love, be romantic, and yet not be vulnerable. Love and romance are about respect and wanting to be together with your partner.

Today’s society is on the path of change for sure. Yet the journey is far from reaching the destination. In this article I want to bring up a side I see: The women I see hurt me and make me numb!

1. She is the sponge for anyone who comes to her with their problems. However, upon closer observation, I understood that she advises them and then mocks them behind their backs, always trying to prove that she is smarter and happier than anyone else. So, I found that sense of superiority in her. This person is anti-feminist. I don’t know if she will ever realize what she is doing to herself and her tribe.
2. She is happily doing chores at home, subservient to her husband. This well-educated woman’s perspective is, “The easy way to a man’s heart is by cooking delicious food.” Conversations with her feel like studying for a culinary course. She has adjusted her life to fit into her marriage. I feel sad about how women are often sensitive and try to conform. She is constantly told by her husband and family how well she has merged into the family and is the epitome of sacrifice. I feel numb because as the years go by, this woman will likely feel burned out.
3. She blindly believes whatever her spouse tells her. She doesn’t realize that it is not solely her responsibility to take care of the kids, yet she happily wears the supermom tag. I hope she doesn’t end up feeling burned out too.
4. She is constantly reminded to “Please talk softly.” She is made fun of because of her height, yet she takes it as love. She says, “You should have a good sense of humor and take it in stride.” I hope she doesn’t lose her self-respect.
5. She makes delicious food and is appreciated by her husband and friends. She cannot stand her partner appreciating other people’s food. She believes women’s success is in the ability to cook delicious food, and she thinks she’s the best. What hurts me is her husband talking quite badly about her behind her back. I lost respect for that person for sure, but I hope she realizes she shouldn’t seek approval from other people.
6. “If it’s not working for me, then you don’t have the right to be happy.” This person wants everything her way, and if it doesn’t work, she will make sure others are not happy either. I don’t have an answer for this, because this can be unacceptable behavior for anyone, but for me, this becomes anti-feminist when a woman exhibits these characteristics and puts down other women by speaking poorly about them. It’s a true face of patriarchy, and I feel sad and angry towards these women.
7. “I’m the best. My values are the best! My spouse and children are the best, and they also make you feel like you are not good enough.” They don’t respect you, yet they want to be your friend. At this very moment, they will be kind and nice; the very next second, they will be mean and start comparing, making you feel like you aren’t good enough.

I don’t blame them. It’s a society that shapes them. Only women/girls who have lived life with freedom will realize how important it is to be yourself, and being yourself doesn’t have to have any of the above-mentioned qualities. For centuries, women have been subconsciously trained to believe a lot of things, and it has kind of shaped society, so it’s us who have to change that. I don’t know how to correct these women. Just keep your sanity by removing them from your life! But don’t stop being the person you want to be. Embrace feminism and keep supporting women/men/transgender individuals who want to join your tribe. Promote the values of feminism!

-Anju Nandakumar holds a doctorate in bioscience and is dedicated to making meaningful contributions to society through her professional endeavors and written works.