The Alarm is Ringing…

India has the highest suicide rate among young and middle-aged women compared to countries with similar socio-demographics. According to a study, as India has developed, women have become more educated and empowered, and arranged marriages have declined. However, they still face clashes with rigid societal norms, leading to conflict and an increase in suicidal tendencies.

In the southern Indian states, despite high female literacy rates, there is a clash with traditional norms, leading to suicide attempts. Sustained patriarchy and gender discrimination, along with compulsory marriage and subsequent domestic violence, are still prevalent in Indian society. According to 2021 NCRB data, as many as 45,026 women died by suicide in India, nearly one in every 9 minutes. Over half of them (23,178) were housewives. This data is not only alarming but also deeply concerning.

But the question is, why do these women reach such an extreme point from which they cannot step back? We are all conditioned by society, and for a girl child, conditioning begins right after her birth. Have you ever asked yourself where your dreams, desires, and beliefs come from? We all have seen our mothers, who are always busy taking care of their children and the entire home. Some sacrifice even their careers (if it’s not a government job) after marriage or after giving birth. Most of them don’t have any career or any earnings of their own. They are always dependent on each other for finance. For many girls, their childhood dream is to be a housewife like their mothers used to be. Is that dream your own? Ask yourself first.

Who sets the norms for females? Our society, TV serials, commercials, and Indian movies teach us that being a woman means taking care of children and the husband’s house is our main duty. Some working women feel guilty when they are unable to cook food at home, but why? Half of the Indian citizens do not contribute to the country’s GDP because they are spending their time on household chores. I am not saying that taking care of children, elderly people, and household chores is bad. But you should not be stuck with only that. You are not born to be a perfect housewife, no matter how much it is praised by our society or in cinemas.

Finding Your Way Through Life’s Challenges

Self-awareness is crucial here. No matter how educated, productive, or earning you are, why does your marriage still depend on dowry? Ask yourself first, why is dowry still present in Indian society? Your height, body type, skin color, and how you look matter for marriage, do you ever ask yourself why? Families or society often impose boundaries on women in the name of culture and family reputation. Depression, anger, sadness, and loneliness are common reactions to the situations women face at home or in society. Therefore, it’s important to observe and assess your situation, thoughts, and what you are doing right now.

Focusing on what you are doing right now is the true Meditation. It can help you overcome depression, anxiety, and other challenges. Observing yourself in a normal state is essential. We are surrounded by conditioning and manipulation around us. So, what can you expect from those people or society? By focusing on your thoughts, you can understand the exact problem and its causes. Ending your life is not going to solve anything. Your choices matter the most in your situation. If your choice is wrong, you will suffer sooner or later. But don’t worry, you still have the choice to endure more suffering or not.

Know Yourself First

The self, our conscious mind, signifies that we are the center of everything. All our demands and expectations stem from who we are and what we believe. This is what spirituality teaches us: firstly, you must know yourself. Going to the temple, lighting a lamp in front of a deity, or performing rituals is not spirituality. The true essence of spirituality lies in understanding yourself through questioning everything. Spirituality serves as the primary remedy for mental health issues by fostering self-awareness. Start by questioning why certain things are happening and why you continue to suffer. Isn’t it due to some fears, desires, or beliefs that hold you back? Once you understand yourself, you’ll comprehend your desires and fears, enabling you to make the right choices and liberate your mind from clutter. Protect your mind from manipulation and conditioning, as one wrong choice can jeopardize your life.

Safety Plan

You need a safety plan for emergencies. It will help you identify what triggers your thoughts of self-harm. Find out the trigger points that lead to self-harm and how to feel better when you have these thoughts. Remove any items that could be used for self-harm. Write down your interests: your pets, your children, your parents, your garden, or other places or people—anything that distracts you. These distractions are people or places that may offer comfort and allow you to take a break from your distressing thoughts. You can also call or chat with helpline numbers. Remember, you are not alone; you are not meant to suffer. Your life is your priority, and the very first step to saving it should be taken by you. Life and time are very precious; don’t lose them due to a wrong choice.

To sum it all up, it’s essential to understand yourself—your desires, dreams, fears, and beliefs. These are often conditioned and manipulated by society and our surroundings. By gaining self-awareness, your mind can be freed from suffering, enabling you to make the right choices for personal growth. Additionally, having a safety plan in place for emergencies is crucial. While thoughts may come and go, it’s important not to waste your time and life, as many other things need to be accomplished.

-Mridusha Goswami, a passionate writer and poet since college, now freelances, specializing in customer experience.