The Secret Feminist Agenda (Spoiler: It’s Just Wanting Pockets)

For years, people have speculated about feminism’s “real” agenda. Equal pay? Safety in public spaces? The right to exist without unsolicited advice from random uncles and aunties? Sure, those are important. But let’s be honest—what feminists really want is simple: functional pockets.  

Yes, the patriarchy isn’t just about wage gaps and moral policing; it’s about tiny, decorative, absolutely useless pockets in women’s clothing. Men can fit their wallets, keys, phones, an entire dabba of snacks, and possibly a small elephant from Chandni Chowk in their jeans. Women? A single Melody—if they’re lucky. 

This injustice starts early. Have you seen a little boy’s cargo shorts? The child can barely say “Amma,” yet he has ten pockets and the confidence of an industrialist’s son. Meanwhile, little girls get frocks with zero pockets, preparing them for a lifetime of carrying handbags.   

And let’s talk about handbags—this is where capitalism and patriarchy high-five each other. Society has convinced women they need expensive bags just to carry essentials men conveniently shove into their infinitely deep pockets. Try walking through any main shopping road while clutching your phone, keys, wallet, and a samosa in your bare hands—it’s practically an Olympic event.  

But pockets are just the beginning. Feminism is also about ending everyday nonsense like the “pink tax.” Why is a women’s razor more expensive than the exact same one for men—just because it’s pink? Is it dipped in Chawanprash? And why does every product “for women” come in pastel shades with floral designs? Bhai, I just want a normal black scooter, not one covered in butterflies.  

And then there’s mansplaining. How many times have you had a man explain something to you that you already knew—sometimes better than him? Imagine studying mechanical engineering for years only to have Rahul from the neighborhood WhatsApp group explain how an engine works.  

So yes, feminism is about fairness, equality, and human rights. But also, let’s not forget the small things—like the right to own kurtas with real pockets. Until that day comes, we’ll keep fighting the good fight, jhola (because pockets are unreliable) in hand.  

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go buy a jacket—one that actually has usable pockets.

-Roopa Rajesh is a bibliophile, a ‘chai’ophile, and a chocoholic who is passionate about teaching, books, music, family, and friends, and definitely not in that order.