The Simple Reality of Women’s Sexuality

The Real Deal About Women’s Sexuality

Let’s talk about women and sex. You might think it’s not as big a deal for women as it is for men, but that’s not true. The truth is, many women just feel uncomfortable talking about it. In fact, more than half of women quietly struggle with some kind of sexual problem. We’ve been hearing a lot about the “orgasm gap” lately. It’s like the wage gap, but, well, stickier.

So, here’s the thing: straight women climax less than 60% of the time they have sex, while men reach climax about 90% of the time. That’s a pretty big difference. And to try to fix this, women have been sold all sorts of stuff, from medicines that don’t really work to creams with testosterone, and even untested injections in their private parts.

But here’s the kicker: you can’t just fix female sexuality with a pill because it’s not actually broken. It’s just misunderstood. For centuries, our culture has had this wrong idea about women’s sexuality. Back in the day, when men were running the show in science, they looked at women’s bodies through their own, well, guy lenses. They didn’t really bother to ask women about their experiences. They just poked around and made guesses.

Even now, we’re still debating stuff like female ejaculation and the G-spot, like they’re some kind of mythical creatures. All this confusion also applies to LGBTQI women’s sexuality, which has been ignored and even hated in some ways.

But let’s rewind a few hundred years. In the 16th century, when science was all the rage, these male anatomists were trying to figure out women’s bodies. They didn’t really know what to make of the clitoris. It didn’t seem to have anything to do with making babies, so they thought it was some kind of weird growth. Some parents even had their daughters’ clitorises removed if they thought they were too big. Yeah, seriously. Female genital mutilation wasn’t just a thing in far-off places – it happened right here in the West.

Now, you might think things are different today. We’ve got the birth control pill, Tinder, and all that jazz. But nope, the ignorance about women’s bodies continues. Most people don’t even know what the full clitoris looks like. Surprise, it’s not just a little nub – it’s actually pretty big and extends deep into the body. But we only fully mapped it out in 2009, after we’d already mapped the entire human genome.

All this misunderstanding has real consequences. Many women don’t even know their own bodies that well. They’re not taught about it in sex ed, and they’re bombarded with images in porn that make them feel like their bodies are weird or not good enough. That’s one reason why surgeries like labiaplasty, where women change the way their genitals look, are becoming more common.

But here’s the thing: understanding your body isn’t just about having better sex. It’s also about knowing what feels right and what doesn’t, so you can speak up for yourself. And ultimately, it’s about accepting yourself and your own unique experience – whether that means having a lot of sex, a little sex, or no sex at all. It’s about defining pleasure and satisfaction on your own terms. And if we can do that, well, it’d be a better world for everyone.

_{Repurposed article influenced by TED Talks.}