Dear Women, Please wear helmet, else it might hurt your kids!
Many women in India, highly qualified with multiple degrees are conditioned to believe that going for a job or being a career woman will lead to their children going astray. They also think that it’s the mother’s responsibility to feed, dress, make them study, and go behind each and everything that their kids do. Hence they quit their jobs for the sake of the kids and stay at home for many years.
However, the irony is that many times the kids of career women are found to be better in many aspects including academic scores, managing self, and self-confidence among other things.
Yet, in 2023, in today’s world, I hear stories of educated women in India and Indian women in the US choosing to become housewives or stay-at-home moms. Sometimes they choose it themselves, sometimes their husband forces them to.
It’s sad. It’s a waste of national resources. It’s a useless custom.
Unless your child belongs to special needs or you have other important priorities, you as a mother are not required to stay at home or not engage in income-generating or passion work for our kids. The more you pursue your work and passion, the more your kids will grow in theirs. They become self-reliant,
employable, and also academically top. Most importantly the financial independence of the woman brings more balance in the home.
Does this mean that the father’s work doesn’t have influence? No, I didn’t mean that. Father’s work does influence but, it’s the mother’s work that impacts more on the kids.
Trust me: I have all qualifications to say this now. Not educational. But as a mother of 2 kids who are self-reliant and competent human beings, who eat, clean, and study themselves. How? Right from their childhood, they have only seen a mom who was hustling multiple jobs, cooks ordinary food, travels many places, is on her phone and laptop most of the time, eats when she is hungry, and does not wait for the kids to eat, makes the kids do all household chores, wakes up at 4 am to sit and study. They do not have the luxury of a mom packing their school bag or washing or folding their clothes! All these works have to be done by themselves or it stays as it is. I don’t think my kids will remember one dish I have made as “mom cooking”. But they will remember the opportunities that I have brought them, the experiences, and the love and freedom they have. (The above list doesn’t mean that the children are left carefree or that the mother doesn’t care for their emotional and physical well-being. The intentions are different. While one is due to lack of interest, the other is due to the intention of making them self-reliant)
There are several academic research works to substantiate the above. Here is a clipping from a behavioral economics book: Superfreakonomics. Whether father or mother, your child’s future success depends on what you are! Blame yourself, if they don’t make it.
Dear women, your job, career, financial independence, etc. is a helmet that saves you in times of accidents. Don’t forget to have it on when you ride this bike of life!
And the best part is that you can ride faster and longer distances when you have it!
Universal Love and Abundance
(Dr. CeeVee is the pen name of Dr. Chandra Vadhana R, Founder of Prayaana Labs and Managing Editor, SheSight Magazine)