Don’t lose your Bffs when you say ‘I do’

Last month, I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I had a lot of work deadlines, family obligations, and household chores. I barely had any time for myself, let alone my family. I felt like I was losing touch with myself and my marriage.

That’s when my BFFs came to the rescue. They surprised me with a weekend getaway to a spa resort. They had booked everything in advance: the flights, the hotel, the treatments, the activities. They had even packed my bags for me. All I had to do was show up and enjoy.

It was the best gift ever. For two days, I forgot about all my worries and responsibilities. I relaxed, laughed, cried, and bonded with my girlfriends. We talked about everything: our dreams, our fears, our joys, our sorrows. We supported each other, encouraged each other, and celebrated each other.

It was exactly what I needed. I came back feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. I felt more connected to myself and my life. I felt more grateful for my life and my marriage.

That’s why I need my girlfriends. They are the ones who understand me on a deeper level, who share my joys and sorrows, who make me laugh and cry, and who challenge me and support me. They are the ones who know me better than anyone else, who accept me for who I am, who love me unconditionally.

June 8th the world over is celebrated as BFF appreciation day. I have been lucky enough to have a group of amazing girlfriends since college. We have been through everything together: graduations, weddings, divorces, births, deaths, careers, travels, illnesses, and celebrations. We have seen each other at our best and worst, and we have always been there for each other.

But it hasn’t always been easy to maintain our friendship. Marriage and motherhood can take a toll on any relationship, especially when you have to juggle multiple roles and responsibilities. Sometimes it can feel like there is no time or energy left for yourself, let alone your friends.

But I have learned that it is not only possible but essential to keep your girlfriends in your life after you get married. Here are some of the reasons why:

• Girlfriends help lower your stress levels. According to a study by the Beckman Institute for Advanced Science and Technology¹, communicating with female friends decreases stress hormone levels for women across the lifespan. They also found that older women communicate better with strangers than their younger counterparts.
• BFFs are like therapists that you can drink wine with. They are the ones who listen to your problems without judging you, who offer you advice without imposing on you, and who empathize with you without pitying you. They are the ones who help you sort out your feelings and thoughts, who give you perspective and insight, and who help you heal and grow.
• Besties are like superheroes who know us better than anyone. They are the ones who can read our emotions and intuitively recognize what we need. They are the ones who can make us smile when we are sad, who can calm us down when we are angry, and who can cheer us up when we are bored. They are the ones who can surprise us with thoughtful gestures, who can spoil us with special treats, can pamper us with loving care.
• Galpals are like sisters that we choose for ourselves. They are the ones who share our history and memories, who understand our culture and values, and who respect our choices and preferences. They are the ones who celebrate our achievements and milestones, who mourn our losses and setbacks, and who honor our traditions and rituals.
• These confidantes are like mirrors that reflect our true selves. They are the ones who see us as we really are, who appreciate our strengths and weaknesses, and who embrace our flaws and quirks. They are the ones who inspire us to be better people, challenge us to try new things, and encourage us to follow our dreams.

Let us cherish our girlfriends and make time for them in our busy life. They are more than just friends; they are your lifelines. They are not competing with your family post-marriage; they are only complementing it. They are not taking away from your joy; they are multiplying it.

So don’t lose your BFFs when you say I do. Keep them close to your heart and make time for them in your schedule. They will enrich your life in ways that no one else can.

Staff Writer