Q. I am a 25 years old woman. I feel dejected very easily and a simple comment on me from others make me low. As I am a job seeker, I am looking for jobs and I am well qualified as well. But after each interview I experience a low, like I have fell in to a black hole. What I have noticed is I cannot stand judgements and I have this habit of keeping on self-judging myself. Always some comparisons are going on within me, and I look at others faces, and try to read or it flashes into my mind, what they are thinking of me. This happens while I am with an interview board too. So I panic, and do blunders. Kindly help.

Answer by Ms. Aditi

Dear 25 year old woman

First, please accept that all of us sometimes feel low self-esteem in different points of time in our life. Right now, your self-esteem is based on other’s opinion and this is normal when you are applying for jobs and interviews. Here are a few tips for you to get over this slump.

1. Ask friends and family to tell you three things about yourself that they know you are good at. Keep this list written available with you when you need a boost of self-confidence. This list need not have more than 3 to 5 points.

2. What are you most happy and proud about in your life? How did you achieve that? Is there a memory associated with this achievement? Again, when you are feeling low, remind yourself of this memory and let the confidence rush back into your veins.

3. Focus on what you want and what you need to do. Whenever your mind is distracted by thoughts that pull you down, remind yourself of your goal and that you are doing what needs to be done. IT might be a good idea to have a chat with someone about your goal and the steps involved in it. The result of interviews is based on multiple things, but you know you have done what you can. Keep a counter-move when you feel a trigger. For example, you know that when you feel the judging eye of the interviewer, you can smile at them. This will naturally lead them to smile or look away.

All the best for interviews and getting the job you deserve truly.

Ms. Aditi Radhakrishnan
Strategy and Leadership Coach

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