Ask The Mentor

Q. I am a 25 years old woman. I feel dejected very easily and a simple comment on me from others make me low. As I am a job seeker, I am looking for jobs and I am well qualified as well. But after each interview I experience a low, like I have fell in to a black hole. What I have noticed is I cannot stand judgements and I have this habit of keeping on self-judging myself. Always some comparisons are going on within me, and I look at others faces, and try to read or it flashes into my mind, what they are thinking of me. This happens while I am with an interview board too. So I panic, and do blunders. Kindly help.

Answer by Ms. Manikarnika Varma

Dear Friend,

Have you ever noticed the variety of flowers that a garden might have, or the ones that bloom on the road sides, on the mountain tops, in the wilderness and where not. Do you think each of them have the same, sweet fragrance? No, they don’t. Because each has its own identity, just like each of us have.

It’s a good habit to keep a tab on oneself, understand where all one needs to improve and find avenues to success. But judging oneself  critically and  ending up dejected and depressed is not the proper way. When we love someone, we try to understand them better, we start finding good things that we like about them etc. Similarly when we do not like a person even good things done by them seems to be not so good. The same is true about ourselves, when we love ourselves we find good in ourselves otherwise we start finding faults with what we do irrespective of what others say. Remember nobody knows you better than your own self. And whatever you feel about you within is what you tend to exhibit outside. So if you feel comfortable with yourself and confident about yourself the same will be exhibited in your interactions. 

With regards to comments and judgements, you can either let them hurt you and feel low or change your perspective, start analysing those comments to see whether they have any scope for your betterment and use them to build a better you. 

Have faith that you too are a chosen soul for this universe and you were sent here for a purpose you and only you can fulfil. Feel blessed that you have the capabilities and opportunities that many lacks. Stay focused on what makes you content and peaceful.

Ms. Manikarnika Varma

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