Where there is a Will, there is a Way…

“I can understand what you’re going through. I used to have a sibling with Autism until he outgrew it when he was 5…” I had a schoolmate approach me to offer her sympathy last year. I was very confused and a little upset by what she said, but I politely changed the topic. The more I thought about it, especially her words “used to” and “outgrew” lingered on my mind and frustrated me, so I decided to research more about Autism.

Having a brother with a diagnosis for Autism and Down Syndrome, I feel extremely protective of him and people with disabilities. It makes me very upset and frustrated when people are demeaning or hurtful towards them. Even though I have not lived the life of my brother, I have closely seen all the challenges he faces every day. I have personally witnessed the difficulties my brother faces in performing even the simplest tasks that we often take for granted—like brushing his teeth in the morning, eating his food, getting ready for school, making friends, or completing his homework. His conditions make even basic activities incredibly arduous for him. The ongoing rocking, flapping of hands, jumping, and restlessness are his ways to regulate his sensory needs. We all have sensory needs, for example: some of us chew on pencils, some don’t like to eat foods with certain textures, and some of us play with our hair; it’s just that over time we learn how to control or mask them. Kids with Autism have a hard time regulating their sensory needs, so they rock, flap, and jump. Instead of wrongfully labeling them as “behavior” we need to work on the sensory processing issues. Sadly, despite my brother’s relentless efforts, which surpass those of any typical child, he faces more judgment than the average student. Year after year, he has to prove himself, whether it’s for meaningful inclusion in school, making friends, achieving good grades, or pursuing employment opportunities. Despite all the challenges, we are very proud of my brother’s accomplishments, he never quits and we never quit on him!

In the following weeks, I dedicated my time to researching Autism. The more I read and researched, the more my understanding aligned with what I initially believed – Autism is a condition that exists on a spectrum, not a disease that can be cured or outgrown. While researching, I came across numerous studies that shed light on Autism and its lifelong nature. According to the Cleveland Clinic, Autism is a permanent condition, but symptoms can and do change with age. While there is no indication that Autism can be cured, comprehensive and early treatment provides a better prognosis. One study, for instance, stated that: “Autism is a lifelong developmental disability” while another study said that some kids learn to “mask” their symptoms and do amazingly well, but most of them have persistent difficulties requiring ongoing monitoring and therapeutic support. Almost all children who no longer met the criteria for autism ended up with other issues, including language problems, anxiety, attention difficulties, and more.

Throughout my freshman year, I frequently encountered situations where schoolmates demonstrated ignorance about Autism and other disabilities, even manipulating it for personal gain or simply lacking understanding. Witnessing these incidents left me feeling saddened by the prevailing ignorance and the need for greater awareness and acceptance of Autism and other disabilities in our community.

During one such instance, I was approached by a classmate who said, “I wish I had your problems because then I could get into whatever college I wanted…” I thought to myself, “What problems? Having a brother with a disability is not a problem…,” I felt appalled by what was said but soon realized that there is a trend where students manifest mental health issues and invent sob stories in an attempt to get into good colleges. Another example of this is one of my schoolmates who claimed to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD (without medical diagnosis) and even started diagnosing other students who don’t have the condition. It is extremely annoying when students fake ADHD and other mental health issues to fit into the “quirky main character” aesthetic.

I remember walking in the hallway and seeing a typical student running around, making noises, and rocking back and forth with a group of friends and laughing. When someone in his group commented on his inappropriate behavior, he said “Oh it’s okay, I’m friends with students with special needs…,” which resulted in more laughter from him and his friends. I was in complete disbelief; it was so incredibly disrespectful and rude!

Another shocking experience I encountered was when a student who claimed they had ADHD was using the R-slur derogatorily towards others. When I attempted to say “You shouldn’t say that”, they proceeded to mock me and justified their use of the term by saying, “I have ADHD so I can use it…” For me, that word carries negative associations and painful memories. And it is so disappointing and hurtful to see that the R-slur is used so frequently among high schoolers.

All the experiences I had in high school last year left me utterly astounded and deeply troubled. I was taken aback by the overwhelming ignorance and manipulation about disabilities and mental health issues that prevailed within the school environment and in our community. Numerous questions swirled in my mind. Why would some students stoop so low as to feign disabilities on behalf of their siblings? How could individuals resort to such measures just to secure admission into prestigious colleges? Shouldn’t our academic achievements be sufficient? Why do some find it acceptable to ridicule students with disabilities? How would they feel if they were subjected to such mockery? Does having ADHD justify using derogatory language? Why would anyone use hurtful slurs against people with disabilities?

The school experiences from last year were an eye-opener and sad reality of the ignorance surrounding disabilities as well as the manipulation of schoolmates to use disability for their personal gain. Suddenly I started getting flashbacks of incidents that I experienced growing up: The “never-ending stares” of people at my brother whether we were at the restaurant, on a walk, at the airport, park, beach or just minding our own business. The apprehension and ignorance from the community to accommodate my brother’s needs during community events, the indifference and lack of interest from parents of typical kids to instill the values and respect for people with disabilities in their children, the lack of meaningful inclusion for children with disabilities in the schools; there are so many experiences to share…

I always wondered how I could transform the “never-ending stares” into “friendly hellos”? The “ignorance” into “acceptance”? The “indifference” into “empathy”? I want people to get to know the person before their disability. Disability (whether Autism, Down Syndrome, etc.) is just a small part of who they are, it does not define them. We are extremely privileged and lucky to be “typical” and it is our responsibility to treat everyone with utmost respect, especially people with disabilities. It is our duty to speak up for them, provide unwavering support, and advocate for people with disabilities.

Over the years, I have learned to channel anger, pain, and sadness towards doing positive things. In life we always have two options: either feel negative about the experiences we encounter or learn from them and make an impact and help bring about change. I have always tried, in my own ways, to make a change: change people’s perceptions about a disorder by educating them, raising awareness by doing art shows, and writing about causes important to me. Educating people is a great way of raising awareness and preventing stigmatization associated with disabilities. Awareness and education lead to acceptance. Acceptance, in turn, can lead to kindness, empathy, and support.

What began as a fun painting activity during the Covid pandemic to engage my brother, transformed into an annual event dedicated to raising awareness and educating people about disabilities. My non-profit, “Art for a Cause” was born during COVID-19 when I saw my brother struggle with social distancing. We started painting together and eventually created so much artwork that I hosted my first Virtual Art Show. To promote awareness about Down Syndrome, we donated 100% of the proceeds to the Down Syndrome Association of Central Texas. [https://pitredeepali.wixsite.com/shreya-artshow] Due to COVID-19, we had to host the show virtually but the response I got from friends, family, community, neighborhood, and even my school was astounding. It was such a positive experience; people were interested in my paintings but
also genuinely cared about the cause. I was truly touched!

Last school year (2022-23), I had an amazing opportunity to host my first in-person Art Show dedicated to raising awareness about disabilities. I was overwhelmed by the response I got from the community. Witnessing the genuine care and curiosity people showed towards disabilities was a heartwarming experience for me. They approached me with questions about the cause I was supporting. I am so grateful to all the people who continue to support me and the causes I champion every year. You all are my true inspiration! With every painting you purchase, we are collectively spreading awareness and fostering acceptance for various disabilities. The positive feedback I’ve received from our community fills me with hope and strengthens my resolve to continue making a difference. [https://shreyasatelier.wixsite.com/art-show-2023]

I am hopeful because I see a blessing every day in my brother. He keeps me grounded and helps me be a better person every day. As his sibling, I am driven to share my own experiences and knowledge to support this cause. Through this process I have realized that art and painting have a remarkable power to bring people together: irrespective of their age, race, color, need, or ability. I am hopeful because, with every painting you buy, we are one step closer to eradicating the myths and ignorance about disability. I am hopeful that my paintings can act as a positive catalyst to educate people, combat bullying, debunk myths, and erase derogatory language towards people with disabilities by fostering awareness, understanding, and acceptance, not just in our homes but in our communities, schools, and neighborhoods.

As I reflect on the powerful speech delivered by our former President, Mr. Obama, in support of
the Black Lives Matter movement, his words continue to resonate deeply within me, “Keep working. And stay hopeful. And that does not mean that everything will get solved, so do not get disheartened, because this is a marathon, not a sprint. But the fact that people are paying attention provides an opportunity to educate, activate, mobilize, and act.”

-Shreya Poladia is a 16-year-old, who is passionate about art and technology, and advocates for disability awareness through “Art for a Cause”. She also pursues interests in programming, robotics, and cybersecurity for social change.